The Zombieslayer

The Zombieslayer
Land of the Free, not land of the safe

Don’t be an Elliot Rodger

June 4th, 2014

As you know, I know Santa Barbara pretty well. Started this blog from that town. Now, it’s in the news again because of that punk ass bitch Elliot Rodger.

I didn’t read his manifesto. Had better things to do. But I’ve been up on the news recently and heard enough quotes from it to know where he’s coming from.

First World Problems

So, he’s a short, mixed-raced dude who can’t get laid. Cry me a fucking river. For one, if you can’t get laid in Isla Vista, you must be doing something really wrong.

First off, stop being a whiny bitch. I heard that he once said hi to a chick and she didn’t acknowledge him so he went crying to his mother. See, another one of my former rants – BOYS NEED FATHERS. I’ve been saying this for years. Boys without fathers usually turn out to be either “cartoon males,” the type that fill up prisons, or whiny bitches like Elliot Rodger.

If you can’t get laid, be clean, stand up straight, make eye contact with everyone, and don’t creep people out.

As someone who has lived in the third world, I’ve yet to see a whiny bitch like Elliot Rodger who hated people because he couldn’t get laid. That’s seriously a First World Problem.

Become good at something

Become good at something. If I were a woman and asked a guy “what do you like to do?” and he responds with “I don’t know,” three strikes then and there. Become good at something. The correct response is something along the lines of “my band is currently recording our first album,” or “I’m working with three other people on starting a video game company. The game is about… and one of us is a marketing expert and we plan to either sell the game to X company, or take it to Kickstarter.” Or, “well, after I get my degree in X, a subject I freaking LOVE, I plan on going to Med/Law/Grad school.”

OK, read those responses carefully boys. If you want to be men, unlike that whiny bitch Elliot Rodger, you respond with something along those lines. Become good at something. If you’re good at nothing and you’re a male, then you’re good for nothing and I strongly encourage you to either become good at something or kindly remove yourself from the gene pool.

Men are good at something. That’s what men do. They have a passion, and they become good at it. I’ll say this again – if you’re not good at something, then you’re good for nothing. So, become good at something.

Can’t appreciate what he had

I come from the Middle Class. Not gonna lie and exaggerate how hard I had it. I did however take financial risks that 99% of people won’t take, and made some pretty epic mistakes. One of those mistakes made me homeless and I have friends today that I’m very thankful to because I crashed on their couch and took showers at their place while looking for work, which beats sleeping in my car. I can tell you first hand how much it sucks to sleep in your car when you have everything in it. You have to have a loaded gun by you, because you don’t want to lose what you got. That’s not fun.

But back to the point, Elliot Rodger never had to deal with that shit. He had it good. And he couldn’t appreciate it. I have no sympathy whatsoever for someone who can’t appreciate what they have. Even when I was broke, I had good friends and appreciated them. Big time.

As you know, those hardships turned around and now the Zombieslayer family is doing quite well. But we fully realize that things like warm showers, indoor plumbing, and a refrigerator full of food are luxuries for a pretty good percentage of the world.

Jealous Bitch

Don’t be a jealous bitch. Elliot Rodger was a jealous bitch. See, one HUGE difference between winners and losers is when a winner sees someone better than he is, he’s tempted to go up to that person and ask him how he did it. He wants to LEARN from the better guy.

A loser envies those he thinks are better. When you’re a jealous bitch, you’re not gonna learn jack shit from the experience.

Don’t be an Elliot Rodger folks. If you are, either improve yourself from within, or kindly remove yourself from the gene pool. If Elliot Rodger had the decency to remove himself from the gene pool, like he should have, four men and two women who I’d probably be friends with would still be alive today.

Alpha Males Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans

June 2nd, 2014

I ****** hate skinny jeans.

Further proof of the planned pussification of America. If skinny jeans don’t convince you that there’s a conspiracy to pussify the average American male, I don’t know what will.

The good thing is, you won’t find an Alpha Male wearing skinny jeans. Why? Because they know better.

“Oh no! Zombieslayer is talking about alpha males! Aren’t we all supposed to hate them now?”

Um, no. For one, I’ve always gotten along with fellow alpha males. We’re mature enough to know that we can compete in civil ways, because, well, Alpha Males are secure about themselves.

What is an Alpha Male anyways?

Simply put, Alpha Males are men who know what they want and know how to work for it. The stereotypes are all wrong. Alpha Males tend to be smarter than average, not just stronger. They’re also more emotionally developed than average. If you want the exact opposite of an Alpha Male, that Santa Barbara wimp Elliot whatever – there you go.

Prince is an Alpha Male. He knew what he wanted from day one – to be the best rock star of his generation. He got it. He’d also kick your ass in basketball, despite only being 5’2″. And, as we all know, he’s got exquisite tastes in women. One of the side benefits of being an Alpha Male is women tend to be attracted to you. Not like that Elliot wimp. Heck, I want to raise him back from the dead just to punch him in the face.

Tom Brady is an Alpha Male. My absolute favorite Tom Brady story is not that he won three Super Bowls. It’s not that he was drafted late and barely made the team. It was in his very first year, he went up to Bill Belichick and told him straight up that he was going to be the best Patriots player there ever ways. Huh? That skinny guy that I drafted in the 6th round?

Like I said, Alpha Males know what they want and know how to work for it.

Which is not always a good thing

Peyton Manning is also an Alpha Male. He’s the absolute LAST person I want in my anti-zombie compound. I got a lot of flack for calling him “Mr. Regular Season” years ago. Turns out, I’m right. (As to be expected). I wish more people will put their money where their mouths are as I only made $80 off the last Super Bowl.

Too many people talk tough, but when I call them out, they back off. Wimps. I should have made hundreds on that last Super Bowl. I said before the game that Peyton Manning would throw a pick six and act stupid the whole game. Told you so.

If Manning was in my anti-zombie compound, I could see him for one, trying to take over my leadership. For another, he’d TRY to save the day, pull a pin off a grenade, and drop it, killing us all.

Back to my original point

Men – don’t wear skinny jeans. You look emasculated. Enough said.

The Pussification of the American Male

October 30th, 2013

A sheep used for the pussification of the american male blog post

My 2013 Rant – The Pussification of the American Male

I’ve told my son many times that I had a WAY better childhood than he did. Not even close. Not saying it to rub it in, just saying that it’s not my fault the way America headed. I fought against it, for the record.

Here are 3 examples of things we did growing up that couldn’t happen today: 1) I went to grade school in California. Every year, near the end of the year, they had a tradition – softball. Not just regular softball, but the teachers vs the 6th graders. Needless to say, the teachers slaughtered the students.

I specifically remember a 300+ lb white teacher, I’ll call him Mr. T because I only remember his last name started with a T. He may have been obese, but he could smack the shit out of a softball. The field had no fence, so the ball kept going and going. It was a funny sight, watching him smack the ball and some poor 6th grade slop futilely running after the ball. To rub it in, he always ran the bases twice.

Nowadays, parents would bitch that it would damage kids’ self-esteem. Boo fucking hoo. Kids NEED to be humbled, folks. It’s part of growing up. You need to lose, and lose badly. You need to know what it’s like. It’s a life lesson, because Earth to parents – life isn’t easy. You need to learn what it’s like to fail early, and you need to learn that failing doesn’t kill you. How the fuck do you expect him to handle a layoff as an adult when he’s never had to handle shit as a kid?

2) My parents were always into a better edumakation. So they sent me to a special school from 6th-8th. I missed the softball game. Damn. However, I played the key part in another rite of passage.

The Intermediate School coaches used to have the 8th graders take on the 6th graders in tackle football. Of course, the 8th graders would slaughter the 6th graders as they were twice their size, twice their speed, and knew each other for a few years whereas the 6th graders barely knew each other.

So the gameplan for us 6th graders? Get the ball to Zombieslayer. He’s fearless. Yes, the very first play the 8th graders did, they sent out their fastest guy and threw a deep bomb. I covered him and picked them off, dodged a tackle, ran for about 10 yards, then got smeared. But I held onto the ball. The coaches were shocked and watched me the rest of the game.

Of course we lost. By a lot. But boys need to be humbled. It’s part of growing up. I’m not a criminal psychologist, but I can guarantee you that they would agree with me – that if a boy wasn’t humbled, there would be something wrong with him as an adult.

3) I went to 2 high schools, started in California then ended up in Texas. Keep in mind, this is before California was a pussified state. Yes, California really wasn’t always like this.

For show and tell in my California HS, one of the boys brought a throwing axe and a tree stump. He put the tree stump on the other side of the room and threw the axe across the room, sticking it into the stump. He did it several times too. Couldn’t do that today. A kid bringing an axe to school? OMFG! He might murder your pwecious porcelain children!!!

Now when my son was growing up, they make mountains out of molehills. He got in trouble for showing any signs of being a male. Everything was a federal case. Every boy had problems and they tried to get him on Ritalin (which is synthetic cocaine – if you don’t believe me, look it up yourself. This is Newsweek saying this, not me). I refused and needless to say, wasn’t too liked by certain school administrators.

My son would get in trouble for things they wouldn’t have even brought up when I was growing up.

Kids don’t go out that much nowadays. They stay inside. There are more kids today than when I was growing up, yet, the fields are all empty except for organized sports (which many have been pussified – my son was in a football league where they weren’t allowed to keep score. WTF?!) Heck, everyone my age remembers being on their bikes until the sun went down. Halloween is a joke nowadays. Kids have no idea how fun it used to be when we were kids. I also can’t believe how fat kids are nowadays. Another WTF.

Boys need to be boys. Fist fighting is part of growing up. Not everyone needs to get along and the way to handle a bully is punch him in the face repeatedly. Even if you get your ass kicked, he’ll leave you alone. Nowadays, everything is bullying and everything is forbidden.

And boys should be outside playing rough games and getting hurt. That’s part of becoming a man. Beware the adult male (I hesitate to call him a man for obvious reasons) who never had a broken bone or at least a good scar or bruise.

And yet, I hear many women complain to me that there aren’t that many Real Men any more. I wonder why (said with extreme sarcasm).

© 2013 by The Zombieslayer


Image shot by Jóna Þórunn and licensed under CC 3.0

Before anyone says that Fathers are no longer needed

June 25th, 2010

So, fathers are no longer needed?

Children who are raised in fatherless homes account for the following:

  • 63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).
  • 71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)
  • 90% of all homeless and runaway children.
  • 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
  • 85% of all children that exhibit behavioural disorders. (Source: Centre for Disease Control).
  • 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol. 14, p. 403-26, 1978).
  • 71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).
  • 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centres. (Source: Rainbows for all Gods’ Children).
  • 85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992).
  • For the record, that 85% of all youths sitting in prison seems low.  I remember talking to a lot of former prisoners and they tell me one thing everyone has in common is nobody has a father.  I have seen other statistics where the figure is well over 90%, but too busy right now to dig for them.  So for now, we’ll go with the 85% figure.

    Thanks R for pretty much supplying this post

    Possibly the most absurd excuse for obesity yet

    May 29th, 2009

    “You’re so lucky you’re slim.”  You know how many times I’ve heard that? If I had a barrel of oil for every time I heard that, I’ll hold that oil until the Summer peak price and then take a year off taking Mrs. Z and Junior around the world on various cruise ships.

    I thought I heard every excuse for obesity on the books, but this one may just be the most absurd.  I used to work a Fitness Counselor, and you can imagine the excuses I heard.  It was NEVER anyone’s fault they were overweight.  It was always something else – bad genetics, too busy a schedule, no time to work out, blaming parents for bad dietary habits, can’t afford to buy healthier food, etc.  I’ve had numerous people lie to my face about their eating habits and exaggerate how much exercise they did in their time between workout sessions.

    The thing is, they weren’t cheating me.  They were cheating themselves.  But I guess they were too stupid to see that.

    This is the thing – I could care less how much anyone weighs.  If they’re cool to me, I like them.  Period.  I just don’t get why someone will pay me money for my advice, then discard my advice and counter with excuses.  Makes no sense whatsoever.

    I got tired of that job really fast.  It paid better than my previous job, but I didn’t care.  I hated it.  So I moved on.

    Simple physics

    Unless you are GOD (or GODDESS for our Pagan friends), you cannot make matter from nothing.  It is not possible.  There is a very simple mathematical formula for either gaining or losing weight.  If you want to gain weight, you eat more calories than you burn off.  If you do that, you will gain weight.  If you want to lose weight, you burn off more calories than you consume.

    There is nothing magical about that formula.  It is simple physics.  Yes, people have different metabolic rates.  But even that can be adjusted.  There are ways to speed up or slow down your metabolism.

    Are you ready for this?

    So, you’re probably wondering when I’m going to get to this absurd excuse.  Here it is.  Boston University conducted a study that shows that there is a tie between racism and obesity.  Yes, there are white people out there who put guns to the heads of black women and force them to eat and physically prevent them from exercising.  The study is here if you want to read it.  I personally got a kick out of the comments.  Apparently, the people commenting are more intelligent than the people wasting BU’s money with this silly study.

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