The Zombieslayer

I won’t lie to you.  I’ve personally benefited from Affirmative Action, getting free calculus tutoring in college.  If I were white, I would have had to pay for it.  But I’m not stupid.  If someone throws free tutoring in your face in a subject you’re bad at, you’d be an idiot not to take it, especially when you’re flat broke and you have a kid to take care of.

But I am very much against Affirmative Action, because I’m sick and tired of being seen for my race.  I don’t like to be asked my race.  I wish they’d just call me American and keep it at that.

I see it coming from a mile away too.  They’ll give me that look, and in their heads, they’re wondering how to word it without offending me.

This morning, John Roberts, our Chief Justice, made the decision to limit considering race.  It’s about time.  “The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race,” Roberts  said.  That’s exactly how I feel.  Stop judging.  Stop asking, period.  I don’t want to be asked when applying for a job, applying for a school, applying for a loan, or whatever.  I am American, and let’s leave it at that.

For those of you who still like our President, props to Bush for appointing Roberts.  I love the guy.  But I still hate Bush.  Sorry Bush lovers.

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More importantly this morning, the Senate blocked Bush’s stupid amnesty bill.  Good job, Senators.  Now start enforcing the immigration laws that are already on the books.

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Elsewhere in the world, Egypt finally banned female circumcision.  It’s a pretty ******* disgusting practice, and I’m glad it’s been outlawed.

Also in Egypt, the mystery mummy has been identified as Queen Hatshepsut.  What a trip.  All this time, they thought her remains had been lost.  If you’re an Ancient Egypt nut like I am, you’ll know who I’m talking about.  She was the 2nd and probably most famous female Pharaoh.

You heard it here first. I better say it before some hot shot historian steals my thunder. I’m the first to coin the term “The Paris Hilton Presidency” for the Bush regime.

Why The Paris Hilton Presidency? Very simply, the two have too much in common not to draw the comparison. Both weren’t exactly asked to join Mensa. Both got their job by being rich and famous instead of actually having talent. And both are only looking out for their interests and are oblivious that there are other people in the world.

Sound good? I’ll contact some literary agents to see if I can pitch it.

I used to do a little but a little wouldn’t do it so a little got more and more

That’s a line from Guns and Roses’ Mr. Brownstone, about heroin addiction.  I think it could also apply to people wearing perfume/cologne.

I’ve said in a previous post that the correct way to put on perfume or cologne is to put it on right after the shower.  Hang up your towel or throw it on the floor (depending on your protocol), and as you’re standing there completely naked, spray twice in the air.  Walk forwards through it, then walk backwards.  No more.

Some of these people spray and spray until you could smell them from a mile away.  You could even smell them ten minutes after they leave a room.  I guarantee you, these will be some of the first people killed when the zombie plague starts.

You’ve seen the ads for pheromones.  It’s no secret, there’s something in sweat that attracts the opposite sex.  I’ve seen studies where sweat from a healthy male was put in a movie theater.  Women went to the seats where the male sweat was, and men drifted as far away from those seats as possible.  Now, sweat from an unhealthy person wards away both genders.  The same is true with women’s sweat.

I answered a tag once where it asked my favorite smells.  I listed gunpowder, a good bar-be-que, and Mrs. Z.  That is, when she’s not stressed.  When she’s stressed, I’d prefer her to wear deodorant.  When she’s not, there’s nothing better than her smell.

Antiperspirant companies have Western nations convinced that we smell bad.  While that’s true if we’re unhealthy or stressing, our default smells attract the opposite sex.  It’s been proven time and time again.  It’s just that any primal instinct in us has been beaten out of us in today’s society.  God forbid you show signs of being human.

Now I’m not suggesting everyone never shower.  I’m just saying don’t be so ashamed of your natural scent, because if you’re healthy, it just may be sexy.  And easy on the perfume/cologne, unless you want to be devoured by zombies.

Had a nice walk with Mrs. Z tonight. Right outside our house, we’re in nature. We have deer, raccoons, and skunks that come into our yard all the time. The deer and the raccoons I like. We learned the hard way that the best way to get rid of the skunk smell on the dogs is with tomato juice and shampoo.

The nice thing about having Native American friends is you learn a lot. My dog was sniffing some crap, and I immediately recognized it as from a coyote. Not only that, the coyote recently ate a rabbit. Lucky guy. Bet it was delicious. Sorry SME.

Anyone can identify horse and cow manure. But can you identify bear, wild boar, mountain lion, coyote, bobcat, and deer? I can. You’re probably thinking “who cares?”

Some tunes

I’m listening to The Killers 1st album. I now own them both and like them both, although I like Hot Fuss better. Speaking of music, read Badman’s review of that concert he and I went to. Got to love Badman’s writing, it’s even more pretentious than mine.

More bitching about the President

So it’s now official. You all know how much I hate the President. Illegal immigration is such a slap in the face to legal immigrants. It will also be the downfall of this country. Legal immigrants love being Americans. Illegals don’t vote, breed like rabbits and let their kids run amok in movie theaters, restaurants, bars, and in front of cars. They care even less about their children’s education than I care about American Idol.

To top it all off, too many of their kids are in gangs. Our public education system is in shambles, but everyone’s too chickenshit p.c. to admit it. We spend all our extra education money here in California on ESL and have to cut classes we need like Gifted/Talented, Art, Music, Drama, and Shop. I’ve always thought immigrants were supposed to higher standards, not lower them. I guess George W Bush can’t get that through his thick skull. Sometimes I think we have our first retarded President.

If you don’t live in California, you may not see how bad this country will be yet. But trust me, it will spread. Your test scores will go down, your crime will go up, and so will your taxes. Great things to look forward to, especially now that Social Security is in trouble and we owe billions to China.

Sorry for my rampant profanity in my last political post. I thought I made it clear that this is more an adult site than the old blog. No, I’m not posting nekkid hotties, but my language will be unedited unlike before.

The next few days, I’ll have some free time and finally visit your blogs. It’s been too long…

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this picture.

… Time you laughed?

Last night.  Was with a big group of people with lots of pitchers of Guiness and a pool table.  had no idea what we laughed about, I just remember a lot of laughing.

… Time you cried?

I honestly don’t remember.  It’s been awhile.

… Time you danced?

Thursday with Mrs. Z to one of our favorite bands.  I grab her all the time and dance.  She won’t dance with me in public though, preferring to disappear with her girlfriends.

… Time you said “I miss you”?
I honestly don’t remember that one either.

… Time you couldn’t sleep?

A few weeks ago, I had an ear infection and it keep throbbing.  I went to the doctor the very next day, the first doctor I saw in twelve years

…. Time you had a hungover?

I rarely get them, because I always drink water before I go to sleep.  I’d guess 2001 or 2002.

… Time you were romantic?

I took Mrs. Z to see an Anime flick in an artsy fartsy movie theatre.  She loves anime, and thought that was romantic.  I don’t like anime.

… Time you felt guilty?

I don’t believe in guilt, unless I accidently hurt someone physically, which has happened in sports.  Ah yes, I kicked Kyle in the balls with a soccer ball during a soccer game.  I felt pretty bad about that.

… Time you indulged?

I’m always indulging, baby. … Time you went wild shopping?

I bought some sexy clothes for Mrs. Z during the Walnut Creek Arts and Wine Festival a few weeks ago.
… Time you had a regret?

I have the same regret all the time.  I’ve only lived in one home for more than three years in my life, and that’s the home I lived in in Martinez, California for ten years.  I saw it for sale once and had the cash to buy it, but didn’t.  I regret that at least once a month.  I loved that house.

… Time you exercised?

Thursday.  I went on a long, long walk alone.  Not so much exercise, but gave me time to think.

… Time you felt outraged?

When I wrote the post before this one.

… Time you went to the movies?

Last weekend, when I took Mrs. Z to that Anime movie.

I won’t tag anyone yet with this one.  But if I see someone slacking, I’ll tag them.  Let me visit some websites next week and I’ll tag someone.  So everyone, you best be posting or else you’re gonna get tagged.