A Democrat joke
July 17th, 2007I’ve been Bush bashing a lot recently, so I thought this would be appropriate. So to make things fair, I think I’d publish a good joke at the Democrats’ expense.
My buddy sent this to me recently, but it was an updated version. I’m going to change it back to the original version I heard years ago.
Subject: Are you a Democrat or a Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your spouse and two small children. Suddenly, a psycho with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
……………………………………………………..
THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN
Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
……………………………………………………
For the record, I’m neither a Democrat nor Republican, but I would have shot twice in the chest and once in the face, especially considering it’s a .40 caliber.
OH NO! I’m a Republican!!!
ARRRRGGGHHH!
Bridget - Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.
phew….dodged a bullet there, i’m also neither a republican nor a democrat.
i’d have quickly looked around to determine if perhaps the charging fellow was actually trying to get some bigger threat to me out of the way…ya know double check the deserted status of the locale. once that was established i’m pulling the trigger.
Lime - Oh, good point. The guy could be going after a zombie and saving your life. I’ll keep that in mind.
I’d err on the side of caution and assume the guy was a zombie. Headshot.
I hate guns but if that were to happen I would have to say shoot the SOB. If he were coming after me or my family or if it was J saying this he would fight till his death defending his family from some whack job. So shoot him and prove with the knife in the guys hand it was self defense. I am neither a democrat or republican either. I have never voted as i have said before. I think I might have mentioned this on Jason’s blog once not here. Oh well now you know. Well I suppose. I have to go start dinner. Meat loaf tonight. Have a good night.
Just - The beauty of that is it works against either zombies or psychos.
Tweety - Post a recipe if you’re up for it.
I had a friend who responded to the same question with a few more options:
What about the Nazi Party answer?
I would invade his land, take his oil and gas him.
What about the Soviet Party answer?
I would do the same as the Nazis except send him to Siberia….
What about the Federalists Party answer?
I would shoot first then make an amendment that made my actions legal….then boycott his oil and dump it into the Boston bay….
What about the Spanish Inquisition party?
I would trip him, put him in stocks, torture him, convert him and most likely execute him immediately after his conversion….
You KNOW what I’d do!
You and I just MAY be voting Republican if Ron Paul stays with them.
heh heh, shoot first ask questions later.
Hey,
Thanks for changing me on your blogroll. This joke is great! I’m a liberal, but I would have shot the guy as many times as I could have before he got between me and my family.
Yonder - What party was Idi Amin? Well, he’d shoot the guy, then leave his body there to rot. Then he’ll go eat his entire family.
Tshsmom - Yeah, I do.
Vegas should make odds whether or not Paul stays a Republican.
Bsoholic - Me too.
United - You’re welcome. I’d love to see liberals drop their anti-gun views from their plank. I’d actually like some things about Kucinich if he didn’t have that big glaring F from Gun Owners of America.
You want the truth? You’d ALL do exactly this in “real life”: Shoot into the air or the ground near his feet, and that should take care of things. If not, you’d shoot him in the foot so the family could get away.
Just what is the point of you people who answer “shoot him in the head”? You are sick people living your extremist gun-toting NRA-badge-wearing 2nd-amendment-spouting overtly homicidal tendencies vicariously through a group-blog-slaying. This is the second time I’ve posted a reply when you do this. You ppl are funny. Sick-funny. And really not that funny.
Badman - Did I hit a nerve? Had no idea you were a Democrat.
Actually, it’s been found that most people don’t shoot to kill, and shoot to miss. Now, an expert shot will shoot to wound in too many situations. The good thing though is statistically, even a warning shot is enough to deter a would be criminal.
As a hunter though, although I’ve never been in a situation that I had to shoot a human, I shoot to kill in the most humane way possible, so I’d imagine I’d do the same to a would-be attacker.
And no, I’m not an NRA member. They compromise too much. I’m a GOA member. A much better organization.
Marion Jones
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read.