A few zombie survival tips
July 18th, 2007Here’s a quick but incomplete list of tips for when the zombie plague starts.
First, you want to be in the shape for the terrain you’re in. For example, if you’re in North Dakota, you don’t want to be skinny, especially come winter time. If you’re in a desert, you don’t want to be overweight.
You may have to travel long distances carrying a lot of weight, especially if you have small children. Do you have a good backpack that is properly weighted? If not, pick one up immediately.
Do you have dogs? If so, do you have dog packs? The Cheyenne made wonderful use of dogs for carrying supplies. In fact, until the horse came to the New World, the Cheyenne used dogs as their main animal for carrying the small but important things.
Are you in shape to carry a backpack long distances through your climate in any season? If not, seriously consider what it would take to get in that kind of shape.
Martial Arts
I’ve had a lot of people ask me what kind of martial arts should they train for a zombie assault. I simply tell them this. You’re not trying to win a UFC. You simply want to survive. Anything that can get you bitten will get you killed. You want to avoid contact as much as possible and if you have to use any martial arts, you’d want to do things like a push kick or a quick throw.
So Judo is good, Jiu-Jitsu bad. Boxing, out of the question. Remember, you’re not trying to be tough. You’re simply trying to minimize any physical contact.
Weapons
The inevitable question of weapons comes up often. What kind of weapons should you own to protect yourself against zombies? Keep in mind, to slay a zombie, you need to penetrate its brain. For me personally, I like Japanese swords.
Do not buy “display” quality swords. These will give you a false sense of security. In real combat, they will break.
For guns, the very guns that Dianne Feinstein (Democratic Senator from California) wants to ban are the best things against zombies. You sometimes have to wonder if she’s a misanthrope and actually is rooting for the zombies to win.
You want the civilian version of a military rifle. You want to be semi-automatic, NOT full-automatic. Keep in mind, you’re going to need rounds. Do not waste them, and learn to make every shot count.
I do not like handguns, but you should have at least one just in case. Handguns have a very short range and are inaccurate, but they’ll buy you time. Time is the key here. And they weigh very little, something you’ll be thankful for if you have to abandon your home base and travel a long distance.
Practice, practice, practice
I cannot emphasize this enough. Can you make a head shot at 50 meters? At 100 meters? If not, then you should be at the gun range this very weekend. Cancel that Las Vegas vacation. Training is more important.
Don’t get overconfident either. It’s easy making your shots when you have time. But can you make your shots when you’re surrounded by zombies?
I’ll do food and water another day. I’ll also discuss things like scurvy, things a lot of intelligent people overlook. Until then, be safe, be prepared, and keep practicing your head shots.
please don’t tell me im going to have to eat saurkraut like my forefathers in order to stave off scurvy…..i relaly hate saurkraut
No Lime I think alot of Garlic works here too. LOL…. I dont know really but I thinks the Mr and Mrs Z have watched way to many Zombie movies if they think they are coming to get us. I wouldnt be very tasteful anyway so they just may stay away. LOL…
No mention of the mighty shotgun? I’ll stand by my 12 gauge; it’s light weight, has versatile shot types, and the barrel doesn’t heat up when fired repeatedly.
Lime - Hate to keep you in suspense, but I’m still working on that. Luckily for you, no. However, I like saurkraut.
Tweety - Too many zombie movies?
Zombie education should be mandatory in all public schooling from day one.
Just - I could write books on the benefits of shotguns. Best short range weapon ever, and yes, very effective against zombies, even for folks that are dexterity challenged.
I had a really well-balanced backpack w/frame when I was in high school. I left it at the cabin, so my Dad could use it. I gotta check to see if he grabbed it out of the cabin when they sold.
I think I’d prefer to be a Zombie sniper. I can hit a gallon jug at 200 yards with my .243. If you pick them off at that range, you don’t have to worry about getting infected. A night-vision rifle scope would come in extremely handy.
Tshsmom - Yeah, I should really purchase a night-vision scope, because my night vision isn’t too good. Glad you mentioned that.
Distance is something that cannot be stressed enough. The farther you are from zombies, the safer you are.
I was wondering when you’d start publishing zombie tips again.
JJ - You came by. Why, a visit from you is even more rare than Badman and almost as rare as a visit from Kate. My old site had more and I decided that I need to write some up again. I’d want us all to survive, ya know?
I know this goes without saying… but THSMom is incredibly cool! I never would have guessed she was a crack shot with a .243
One important consideration is availability of ammo. You could have a sweet Barrett .50, but unless you run across an army ammo dump or a specialized gun store…
THANKS Yonderin! *blushing*
Good point about the ammo! All we need is powder and primers….I reload. Plus, we have to train everybody to pick up their empty casings.
Yonder - Definitely one of the coolest bloggers EVER.
Tshsmom - One of these days, I’ll get into reloading. What’s better than recycling in one of our favorite pastimes?
Zombieslayer, thought you’d love this increasingly popular newscast, on all its combinations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y&mode=related&search=
Mybrid - Whew! That reporter really put her life in her hands there. Luckily, that was just a kid in face paint. She could be dead. That was a close one.
I like turtles too by the way. I think any question I reporter asks me, I’ll just answer “I like turtles.” It’s the universal answer to anything.
“So what do you think about the Iraq War?”
“I like turtles.”
See? Perfect.
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A few survival tips | The Zombieslayer