The Zombieslayer

The Zombieslayer
President of the Zombieslayer Institute of Technology

Miss South Carolina was trying to be politically correct

August 31st, 2007

You’ve probably already seen the video. If not, I’ll include it down below.

To make a long story short, Miss South Carolina was asked how come one fifth of all Americans can’t find the U.S. on a map. What she should have said is anyone her age or older who can’t find our own country on the map is a fucking idiot. Unfortunately, because of political correctness, she couldn’t say that. So she froze. And she came up with a real retarded answer.

Poor girl. She has my sympathies. This is what happens when political correctness takes over. You have to watch what you say, and you end up sounding like a jackass.

I got an idea how to solve the problem. Solve it at the source. At the age of 18, anyone who can’t find the U.S. on a map gets sterilized. No and, if, or buts. There. In one generation, problem solved.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, watch this video.

Posted in Satire, political correctness | 6 Comments »

If I were running the show (illegal immigration)

August 30th, 2007

In my last post, I talked about a compromise, realpolitik.  Something I don’t like to do, and yes, I’m turning cynical when it comes to the Senate.  It’s like I don’t expect much from them.

In an ideal world, this is what I’d do with illegal immigration if I were running the show:

1) Immediately double the amount of Border Patrol agents, and immediately let those 2 who shot that drug dealer in the ass out of prison.

2) HEAVY fines on employers who hire illegals.  With each offense, the fines go up.

3) Allow police, fire, and hospitals to report illegals.  No more don’t ask don’t tell.

The emphasis will be on #2.  See, the reason why President Bush and so many of our multi-millionaire Senators are pro-illegals is because illegals undercut American workers.  They not only work for cheaper, with illegals, you don’t have to pay Social Security if you’re an employer, nor do you have to pay any other benefits.  This is really bad.  It hurts not only Social Security, but keeps our healthcare prices high if you’re an American.

This is an assault on the Working and Middle Classes of America.  It’s a direct assault, and Americans need to get their heads out of their asses.  It’s not about doing the jobs Americans won’t do, and has EVERYTHING to do with employers not having to pay the taxes and benefits that they SHOULD BE PAYING.  When employers don’t pay those taxes and benefits, guess who gets the bill? That’s right, YOU.

Posted in Politics | 7 Comments »

A few political issues…

August 28th, 2007

Poisoning Americans with Chinese goods

So, the Washington Post reported recently that the FDA detained 107 food imports from China at U.S. ports last month.  I’m telling ya, it’s in  your best interest not to buy from China, especially food, for your family and your pets.  Get this - they found dried apples preserved with a carcinogen, mushrooms with illegal pesticides, and prunes tinted with chemical dyes not approved for human consumption.  You still want to eat anything from China?

Feinstein gets tough on illegals

Kudos to Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), one of my two California Senators.  As soft as President Bush is on illegal immigrants (I’m under the impression Bush loves illegals, or at least loves their cheap labor, not paying health insurance or other benefits, etc.), Feinstein is tough.

Feinstein’s plan is anti-amnesty, and will force illegals to learn English, pay a fine of $5000 + a $3000 processing fee, work or get an education, pass a national security check, apply for a Z-visa, not commit crimes, and return to their own country before submitting their application.  Sounds harsh? Well, take a guess what legal immigrants have to do.

She’s also planning to double the amount of Border Patrol agents and drastically  increasing fines for companies that hire illegals.  That’s where I would put a lot of the emphasis.  Companies hire illegals so they don’t have to pay benefits, Social Security, and follow worker safety laws.  So I’m glad her plan includes severe punishments to those who hire illegals.

Her plan also includes detention of those caught, instead of the current “catch and release” policy we have now.

Is the plan perfect? No, but it’s probably as good as we’re going to get from our current Senate.  I know it’s cynical of me to say that, but there are times when even I have to consider stooping to realpolitik.

Another reason I will never join the NRA

One thing liberals never get, is that a lot of gun owners are not NRA members.  I’m thankful for their gun safety classes and some of the other things they do, but when it comes to politics, I frankly think they suck.

I’m a Lifetime GOA member, the organization that doesn’t compromise.  Once again, the NRA is in bed with the Brady bunch, approving the horrible Leahy Brady expansion act.  So that means we’re calling on our Pro-Gun Senators to filibuster

We don’t need more laws.  We already have too many.  It’s time we start removing, not adding laws, especially ones that affect the Bill of Rights.

Posted in Politics | 8 Comments »

Too busy to write

August 25th, 2007

My friends, I’ve been really busy lately. Haven’t visited your blogs nor have I written anything worthwhile. So, being inspired by Notta Wallflowers’s 10 things, I’ll write a quick 10 things:

1) I have no tattoos nor piercings, and I do not own a cell phone, a car alarm, an iPod, or even a T.V. I watch movies at friends’ houses or go to movies.

2) Junior just surpassed 100 pounds. I can still do 10 pushups with him on my back. Him being 13, I don’t think I’ll be able to do that much longer.

3) I love Japanese food (sushi mainly) and American steak the best

4) I’m currently reading a Brazilian author, Paulo Coelho. The book is called The Alchemist.

5) Two of my three favorite living authors are women - Isabelle Allende and JK Rowling. Jim Goad is the other. My favorite dead authors are Edward Abbey and the recently deceased Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

6) I’m looking forward to the NFL season starting. I’ll hit the local sports bars with Mrs. Z to watch the games.

7) I believe in God, that God is good, and that God can smash the Earth between his fingers like a child smashing a booger. Therefore, puny little humans cannot offend God. However, humans get offended waaaay too fucking easily.
8) I got a good wife, a good kid, and a good dog. I pity people who can’t appreciate what they have.

9) Nightwish’s album Once is the best piece of music written in the 2000s. They have a new album coming out next month, and a bunch of us are going to see them in November.

10) Music, guns, beer, fine food, the outdoors, open space with nothing around for miles, watching football with rabid fans, playing sports, playing games, running with my dog, clean rivers, watching sunsets, admiring beautiful women, these are all things I like.

Posted in Personal | 19 Comments »

That was scary

August 17th, 2007

I don’t get scared easily. When we were kids, we used to watch horror movies and hide around the corner and try to scare each other.

I was talking to Badman this week about American horror vs Japanese horror. In American horror movies, you do everything right, you’ll live. Japanese horror films give no guarantee of life. You could do everything right and you’ll still probably die.

These are the scariest movies I’ve ever seen. Actually, only one scared me throughout. The others had one really scary scene.

Ju-On, the Grudge (2003 - Japan). I think there were four of them, and this one was the scariest. That creepy kid and the crawling woman got you no matter where you hid. You could be in your bed, eating dinner, in the shower, or where ever, minding your own business and suddenly you’re dead.

thegrudge.jpg

Unfortunately, that’s the only movie that really scared me. The rest had scary scenes.

I saw the Exorcist (1973 - US) back in the mid-80s and it wasn’t scary. Then I saw it again with the additional scenes. The one scene with the spider walk freaked me out.

exorcist.jpg

Freaks (pre-code 1932 - US) was banned in the UK for 30 years. It featured real life carnival freaks. The movie itself was well-done and for its time, I guess it was really scary. But the one scene in the very end freaked me out, what the freaks did to that lady. I don’t want to give it away in case any of you are film geeks (like SME) and may just watch it.

freaks.jpg

David Lynch has a way of getting inside one’s head. He does that as well as anyone. He builds up a strange dream sequence, and he can be really creepy sometimes. He did that with both Lost Highway and Blue Velvet, two of my favorite movies. But my favorite movie of his was Mulholland Drive (2001 - US).

There was one scene were two grown men in business suits were sitting at a diner and the one guy was telling his buddy about a recurring nightmare he keeps having. The way Lynch built it up, my brain already filled in the blanks and I was really creeping myself out. Then just as he explained to his buddy, the nightmare came to life. My heart literally skipped a beat at that scene.

mulholland.jpg

So there you have it. The movies that scared me. As I said, I don’t get scared easily and I’ve watched a lot of movies.

More Lists

Badman and I like to make lists. Here’s his Top 10 Punk Sellouts of All-Time. If you’re into Punk, definitely read this one.

The one of his I really liked though was his Worst Albums of All-Time list. I think he worded it poorly as he meant “most disappointing” because they were good bands that made bad albums.

If you’re a music junkie, you’ll love arguing with this guy. He really knows his stuff, even though he and I have completely different taste in music.

Back to movies

So…any movie ever scare you? If so, what did? I may just have to rent it.

Posted in Film | 20 Comments »

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