The Zombieslayer

I talk a lot about the Second Amendment on this blog, but not enough about the First. It’s because I feel the Second is in more danger than the First. And trust me, if the Second goes, there’s nothing to keep the First from going too.

First off, this is utterly important. You must understand the difference between a Right and a Privilege. If you do not understand this, then this is all for naught.

A Right is something you are born with. Government does not give you Rights. They are something that cannot be taken away from you. A privilege is just that, a privilege. When Government starts taking away Rights, it needs to be overthrown. It’s that simple.

The first Amendment is simply this:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

So let’s break this down piece by piece.

Freedom of Religion. This is a Right, and this one gets the most controversy. Keep in mind, people fled their countries to come here so they could worship as they want to worship. People died for this Right, so you can worship as you want to worship. Don’t ever take that for granted.

Freedom of Speech. This Right is almost an absolute. You can say things that will offend, despite what politically correct people think. You can say “I hate all Narnians and Narnians are stupid, they’re ugly, and the world would be better off if they were all dead.” You cannot say, “Aslan, you are a Narnian and I’m going to your house and I’m going to shoot you.” If you say that, Aslan has the Right to shoot you the moment you step foot on his property.

You cannot slander. If Aslan is not an alcoholic, you cannot go around telling everyone that Aslan is an alcoholic. That is slander. If he is one, then it’s all good.

You cannot give out copyrighted materials freely. I don’t think I need to go into details here.

You cannot give out private info. If you get a hold of Aslan’s credit card, you can’t go around giving that info to your friends and neighbors.

Despite what you’ve heard, you can yell “fire!” in a crowded theatre. Keep in mind though that no judge or jury is going to be sympathetic to you when some father busts your knees with a baseball bat after the resulting panic crippled his kid.

You can say “President Bush (my President) or Dianne Feinstein/Barbara Boxer (my Senators), or Ellen Tauscher (my Congresswoman) are !@#$%^& idiots and I hate them and wish they’d get an STD.” Other people may not like it, but that’s just tough.

There are no “free speech zones.” Anyone who tries to enforce a free speech zone needs to be tar and feathered. The whole country is a free speech zone.

Freedom of the Press. As annoying as reporters are, I’m glad I live in a country where the media can publish anything they want to publish (save for libel, copyright infringement, etc.)

Freedom of Assembly. This gives you the Right to Assembly peacefully. If you don’t like the way something is, by all means, hold up a sign in a public place and tell the world. You may not like what someone’s protesting, but it’s their Right to do it.

This does not mean throw a brick through a Starbucks window. And if there are any Anarchists reading this, do us all a favor, don’t destroy their windows, destroy their stereo system. Geez, Anarchists, at least make yourself useful.

The Right to Petition Your Government. This means you don’t need to be scared to send a letter to your Congressman or woman, your Senator, or your President. They’re supposed to send you a letter back. So far, of the dozens of letters I’ve sent, everyone has, although I wonder if they really read them. I bet what they do is simply tally up a for and against.

So this is your First Amendment. It’s over two hundred years old, and is set in stone. Your Founding Fathers knew what they were doing when they wrote it. Don’t take it for granted. Remember, you were born with these Rights. Government does not give these Rights to you.

Just a reminder - you were born Free. Governments try to deprive you of Rights that you inherited at birth. Government does NOT give you Rights. You were BORN with them. Very important distinction.

I’m going to bring back the Bill of Rights posts, one at a time. Every few weeks or so, I’ll publish my thoughts on each of the ten Amendments to the Constitution that make up the Bill of Rights. I make them interesting to read too, even if you have a short attention span.

Why is this important? Because Apathy and Ignorance, not terrorists, will be the death of this Republic. I cannot make people non-apathetic, but I can educate. And you can educate me. I’m sure there’s something important I’m leaving out.

So next week, I’ll start the First Amendment post. Until then, have a wonderful weekend. I’ll have time to visit everyone’s blogs this weekend, finally.

I love sushi.  So does my real estate agent.  It never fails.  My real estate agent’s cell phone will go off.  Shoot, it’s an important call.  He better take this one.  So he politely goes outside while the rest of us enjoy our sushi, our conversations, our drinks, and our time together.

Not everyone is as polite as my real estate agent though.  Some people will talk louder on the cell phone than they will to their buddy sitting across the table from them, insuring everyone in the restaurant hears every word.  Real pleasant when you’re spending $25/30 a person on sushi and drinks.

College

Luckily for me, I went to college before the cell phone craze hit.  Between classes, you had a golden opportunity to talk to that cute person you’ve been eyeing from the other side of the room.  Or better yet, now’s your chance to see if you have something in common with that geek that actually understands what the Professor is saying.

Not anymore.  Now, if you walk through a college, the very second anyone walks outside the classroom, they whip out the cell phone.  So much for conversation.

A cell phone is a prison

I no longer own a cell phone.  When I did, I was tied to it.  Sure, you can turn it off, but as soon as you turn it back on, you’ll have five messages, three of them urgent, that you must attend to right away.  Not having one, nothing is so urgent anymore.  It’s nice.  It’s a wonderful feeling.  It’s normal.  There’s the key word there - normal.  Cell phones aren’t normal.  They’re an aborration.  They’re a prison.

Cell phones are one of the main reasons people can’t hold conversations anymore.  Their attention spans are nearing zero, as the world becomes so fast paced that the brain’s in constant instant gratification mode.  I partly blame this one cell phones, and would love to hear someone try to argue against this point.

Cell phones for safety?

You always hear this from cell phone defenders.  What if something bad happens? Well, you want to hear something weird? Humans somehow survived for hundreds of thousands of years before cell phones were invented.  I have no idea how.  I don’t know how humans started fires without cell phones, hunted and gathered without cell phones, built shelters without cell phones, learned to domesticate animals and grow crops without cell phones.  It boggles my mind.  How did we do that? Amazing!

“Well, what if you’re out camping or hunting and something happens?”  Hate to break it to you, Cityboy, but where I go out, cell phones don’t work.  You get zero reception.  So cell phone or no cell phone, anything happens, I’m still going to have to drag my ass back.

I don’t even have to go on a rant about cell phones and driving, because we all had near or even real collisions of people on the cell phone driving like a maniac.  Or it may have been you, driving along normally until the cell phone rings, you pick it up, and WHAM! Horrible place for a tree.

A lot of us have been on dates where everything went well, until your date picked up the cell phone and forgot you existed.  A radio personality in Southern California I used to listen to suggested that when that happens, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, then promptly leave your date at the table.  That will not only teach them a hard lesson, it will save you misery later because that person’s not worth it anyways.

Cell phones and the Upcoming Zombie Plague

And saving the most important for last, Jim and Jane are two people who may or may not know each other, who live on the opposite sides of town.  Jim has a cell phone.  Jane has a shotgun.  Who’s more likely to survive the upcoming zombie plague?

Q.E.D.

I love Milla Jovovich. I couldn’t get Mrs. Z to go to the 3rd installment of Resident Evil, so I went with my buddy and fellow blogger Kate instead. Kate loves horror films, and I love zombie films, so she was perfect to go with. She said she’ll write the review this time so I won’t have to. Anyways, we both enjoyed it immensely. No, it was not a cinematic masterpiece with a complex storyline and great literary dialog. But it was fun.

Combating Global Warming

One thing that pisses me off about fellow Right-wingers is they completely deny any environmental problem exists. I’m not 100% sold on global warming, but I’d rather err on the side of caution. It’s kind of like if you have a 30% chance of dying crossing the street, then don’t cross the street. You’d think it’s common sense.

The problem with the Left when it comes to environmental issues is that they’re a bunch of Luddites. Technology and Science can be good things.

Scientific American recently had an article on global warming and how to prevent it. One thing that caught my attention was the article on perennials versus annuals. In case you don’t know what they are, perennials are plants that last for years and annuals are plants that die every year so you have to replant them.

Perennials’ roots grow deep and help put nutrition back into the soil. Annuals need both fertilizer and herbicide, both of which are bad for the environment because their runoff kills fish and other river and oceanic life. Perennials also attract wildlife, whereas in farms that grow annuals often are low or devoid of wildlife. And we all know how much I love wildlife.

Most importantly if you’re talking about global warming is that perennials add oxygen to the atmosphere whereas annuals add CO2, which is bad. A lot of agricultural colleges now are working on producing more perennials, which would be a good thing. The problem is we’re decades away from putting these plans into action. So if you have a small farm, consider growing perennials rather than annuals. I’ll definitely look into it when we finally get around to building my anti-zombie compound.

Speaking of magazines

I’ve always found Nicole Kidman sexy. I have no idea why she ended up with that loonie toon Tom Cruise, but luckily they’re not together anymore. Unfortunately, the damage has already been done and she bred with him. We don’t need more of his progeny in this world. One Tom Cruise is enough.

So on the cover of Vanity Fair, it says “Nicole Kidman bares all.” I ought to go after them for false advertising. I’m not too upset because I didn’t purchase the issue, but instead read it at the office. Ms Kidman is not nekkid anywhere in the magazine. So guys, don’t waste your time.

Speaking of celebrities

Sorry Clothosfate, but I’ve never seen Angelina Jolie as sexy. Her whacky mood swings scare me, and her Lara Croft does not do it for me whatsoever. Now Milla Jovovich with her Alice character, that’s sexy. If you like zombie movies, check out the latest Resident Evil. Milla definitely has it.

I got this in an email from Neal, and couldn’t stop laughing. No, Neal didn’t write it either, but I’m giving him credit because he found it. As you may know, the NAACP tried to defend Michael Vick. I personally found his actions disgusting, and comparing that to deer hunting is absolutely absurd. We eat what we shoot, and use other parts of the deer for other things. I won’t go into details, but if you’re a hunter, you’ll know we try not to waste much.

Anyways, contains profanity. Here ’tis.

Saturday, August 18, 2007
An Open Letter to the Atlanta Chapter of the NAACP

Dear Dr. R L White, Head of the Atlanta Chapter of the NAACP,

My name is Mike. I am 27, and I am neither a member of your organization nor a resident of Atlanta. Normally I wouldn’t bother you, but then I came across this article, and it compelled me to write.

Since I am white, I am going to tread carefully, so as not to offend your gentle sensibilities. But, Dr. White, you are a dumb fuck.

Speaking for white people everywhere, let me fill you in on something. This case was not a race issue. It was about killing dogs. And if there is one thing people don’t stand for, regardless of race, it’s killing dogs. You compared it to deer hunting. Again, Dr. White, you are a dumb fuck. When was the last time a deer greeted you at the door when you got home from work? Or curled up next to you and gently nuzzled in to take a nap? Dogs are pets, you moron. They aren’t meant to be killed for sport. The failure to make this distinction only makes you look stupider.

Sorry, I lost my temper there.

Here’s the thing, Dr. White. The reason people were outraged by this was because he killed dogs. If Ben Roethlisberger or Brett Favre had done it, the reaction would have been the same, I guarantee you. The difference is, had Ben Roethlisberger or Brett Favre done this, you wouldn’t see white supporters rallying behind them, proclaiming he was innocent in the face of mountains of damning evidence, supporting him regardless of the outcome. Let me let you in on a secret about white people; when one of our own makes us look bad, we condemn him and disown them. I suggest you adopt a similar policy. If your group’s mission is truly to advance “colored” people (your word, not mine) you’d disassociate from the idiots in your race. It can’t go wrong, trust me.

Anyway, Dr. White, I don’t want this to come off as racist, because it isn’t. Michael Vick is a despicable person who happens to be black. The sooner you realize that, the less of a dumb fuck you’ll look like.

Sincerely,

Mike