No, you can’t be Platonic
September 4th, 2007This post is for young straight men who haven’t figured it out yet. (If you’re a young gay man, simply switch the gender).
That dear female friend you have, no you can’t be platonic. You will gradually see the beauty in her and fall in love with her. Take it from someone with more experience than you have. If you’re single, and she’s single, the only time you can be platonic with a woman your age is if:
1) she’s a blood relative,
2) you have a thing for someone else instead
Even if you find her ugly, that will change. I’m telling you, you’ll start seeing the inner beauty in her. You cannot be platonic with a woman your age if you’re single.
And that, my friends, is what broke up my second favorite band. They were “best friends.”
Interesting music and video. Also about that its almost like I keep saying I dont want Kora dating her best friend when she gets older. It will ruin the friendship. I have seen it where sometimes it works and then again sometimes it doesnt and I dont want her taking that chance.
I’m going to have to disagree. I have loads of male friends and if they have ever had a thing for me, they certainly never asked me out and it’s not like I’ve had an overabundance of boyfriends of the years. In fact, I don’t think anybody has ever fallen in love with me, so I guess maybe I’m the exception to your rule.
Tweety - Their friendship will change. It’s inevitable, unless he gets together with someone else.
Kathleen - You’d be surprised. I’m willing to bet you that at least half your male friends would consider you that other way, and just either 1) don’t want to take the chance at rejection, 2) suppress those feelings because the friendship has very good value.
I agree.
I think that marrying your best friend is the way to go. Too many people marry for looks and wind up having nothing in common with their partner.
If you don’t appreciate your partner’s inner beauty, you have no business being with them!
Maybe, except that the Libertarian liked me for five years…then we dated for one and he wanted to go back to being friends…which apparently means never seeing each other or talking or e-mailing. I think I have special anti-man powers without even trying.
Hmm… I’ve not thought about it really. Well, okay, that’s not true. H and I have certain “codes of marital conduct” we live by because it’s too easy for something to happen. I think that people who are married and don’t think it could happen are just fooling themselves. I was that way. We both have been through it before and have been on both ends and none of it was pleasant. It’s just better to be careful if you’re not single.
So true and once friends date there is no going back.
Tshsmom - Couldn’t agree with you more. I married mine.
Kathleen - Well, hope your luck changes, unless of course you enjoy being single. I loved being single when I was single, and don’t see why society gives single folks such a hard time.
Notta - I agree. Avoid the situation and you’ll avoid the problem. I think you and H are doing the right thing by doing that.
JACC - Yup. Well said.
Doesn’t anybody watch Seinfeld? “We can have this, this is good, and we can have that, that is good, but we musn’t let that get in the way of this……” and of course it did.
I have been there and done that and ruined some pretty good friendships because of it but sometimes its correct I guess. Jeff and I have our moments. We have loads in common. But then we have just enough not in common to make us work.
Granny - Saw that episode, and yes, that episode was correct. You can’t have best of both worlds. It never works in real life.
Tweety - I’ve always felt it’s best when you have just enough in common to make it worth. I think complimenting is better, so one’s strength makes up for the other’s weakness.
I am happy single, but I was happier before I attempted dating The Libertarian. I just discussed with my therapist how hard this society makes it being single. I have short hair, so single and short haired = lesbians. At least in some people’s eyes and that’s hard.
Kathleen - Read my post on being single. It’s amazing how in this society, being single is such a bad thing.