I hate cell phones
September 26th, 2007I love sushi. So does my real estate agent. It never fails. My real estate agent’s cell phone will go off. Shoot, it’s an important call. He better take this one. So he politely goes outside while the rest of us enjoy our sushi, our conversations, our drinks, and our time together.
Not everyone is as polite as my real estate agent though. Some people will talk louder on the cell phone than they will to their buddy sitting across the table from them, insuring everyone in the restaurant hears every word. Real pleasant when you’re spending $25/30 a person on sushi and drinks.
College
Luckily for me, I went to college before the cell phone craze hit. Between classes, you had a golden opportunity to talk to that cute person you’ve been eyeing from the other side of the room. Or better yet, now’s your chance to see if you have something in common with that geek that actually understands what the Professor is saying.
Not anymore. Now, if you walk through a college, the very second anyone walks outside the classroom, they whip out the cell phone. So much for conversation.
A cell phone is a prison
I no longer own a cell phone. When I did, I was tied to it. Sure, you can turn it off, but as soon as you turn it back on, you’ll have five messages, three of them urgent, that you must attend to right away. Not having one, nothing is so urgent anymore. It’s nice. It’s a wonderful feeling. It’s normal. There’s the key word there - normal. Cell phones aren’t normal. They’re an aborration. They’re a prison.
Cell phones are one of the main reasons people can’t hold conversations anymore. Their attention spans are nearing zero, as the world becomes so fast paced that the brain’s in constant instant gratification mode. I partly blame this one cell phones, and would love to hear someone try to argue against this point.
Cell phones for safety?
You always hear this from cell phone defenders. What if something bad happens? Well, you want to hear something weird? Humans somehow survived for hundreds of thousands of years before cell phones were invented. I have no idea how. I don’t know how humans started fires without cell phones, hunted and gathered without cell phones, built shelters without cell phones, learned to domesticate animals and grow crops without cell phones. It boggles my mind. How did we do that? Amazing!
“Well, what if you’re out camping or hunting and something happens?” Hate to break it to you, Cityboy, but where I go out, cell phones don’t work. You get zero reception. So cell phone or no cell phone, anything happens, I’m still going to have to drag my ass back.
I don’t even have to go on a rant about cell phones and driving, because we all had near or even real collisions of people on the cell phone driving like a maniac. Or it may have been you, driving along normally until the cell phone rings, you pick it up, and WHAM! Horrible place for a tree.
A lot of us have been on dates where everything went well, until your date picked up the cell phone and forgot you existed. A radio personality in Southern California I used to listen to suggested that when that happens, you excuse yourself to the bathroom, then promptly leave your date at the table. That will not only teach them a hard lesson, it will save you misery later because that person’s not worth it anyways.
Cell phones and the Upcoming Zombie Plague
And saving the most important for last, Jim and Jane are two people who may or may not know each other, who live on the opposite sides of town. Jim has a cell phone. Jane has a shotgun. Who’s more likely to survive the upcoming zombie plague?
Q.E.D.
Sorry to get off topic but I know we have lots of the same concerns. Please circulate the current information on my blog to everyone you know. Regardless of where he was last seen in the United States, he could end up anywhere of be known anywhere and if he can be found, this precious little girl could be found and found alive. Blogging is fun but it could also prove helpful in saving a child.
i will admit to having a cellphone. it’s convenient but i agree that they have had a number of negative effects.
when we lived in trinidad a lot of people didn’t even have house phones and cellphones hadn’t really hit…only the most high powered exec woudl have had a beeper or pager or somethign then. still, communication moved pretty quickly…if gossip started at one end of the island, it made it to the other end before a taxi could get there….
“A cell phone is a prison”. Only if you let it be. I have one, but I rarely use it. A handful of people have the number and my voicemail message basically says that unless I specifically said “call me on my cell” that I won’t get your message for a lonnnng time. People basically know that unless I’m meeting up, or expecting them to call, I don’t have it on. It is for MY convenience while traveling or should I need it in an emergency. Not for others to get hold of me when they want. It’s worked out well so far.
I used to work for Nextel, the only thing worse than a cell phone is a cell phone customer who doesn’t want to pay their overages. :::shudder:::
I have the same problems with cel phones. They’re separating people from each other rather than bringing them together…I can’t count how many times I’ve seen girls sitting at cafe tables, bored out of their minds, while their guys yak on a cel. Or the reverse. And texting…don’t get me started. Natalie Dee’s latest toon says it all: “It’s cooler to text people who aren’t there than to talk to your friends who are.”
about the camping…obviously people haven’t watched enough horror movies to know that cell phones NEVER work when a zombie or werewolf are chasing after you!
Nice rant ZS!
High school and college kids are the biggest victims of this disease. We have 3 high school kids working at the restaurant just to pay their cell bills! What happened to kids working to buy a car, or go on dates, or buy music and stereos?
Bravo Laura!! That’s exactly how we use our cell phone.
I’ll take the shotgun!
My cell phone is my clock.
Hell yeah, I LOVE sushi too! I could seriously eat it more often than I actually do. Though for my b-day we went to a sushi bar and I ate a lot of rolls. Damn it was good!
Sushi rawks!
Jeff and i were driving one day going somewhere. I dont remember where exactly. Anyway the light had an arrow and this broad had her cell phone glued to her ear and wasnt watching where she was going and the arrow went to the normal green light. Well Jeff went to go and she decided at the last minute she was going to turn and didnt care if someone was coming or not because she was too busy talking on her phone. I rolled my window down and and told her that i was going to call the cops on her. She just went along on her merry way and didnt give a damn. Sick people can be with these phone. Jeff has one because work pays for it. They need to keep track of there drivers and plus if a customer needs something he can pick it up at another store. Other wise we dont have one of our own.
hey the beginning of the article was great! but could you do me a favor and shorten it up? I just don’t have the patience to make it through the rest.
Your gonna have to throw that cell phone pretty gosh darn hard to kill a zombie…trust me. Unless it was one of those old ones. Those u just need to undo the antenna and it is pretty much a sword which could inflict some damage on a zombified assailant.
I was very much anti-cell phone even up until I had one. I now no longer have a landline (it was costing me $60 w/o even making a freaking call) and with the amount of driving I do all alone to go to races, I decided the smart thing to do was to dump the landline and get a cell phone. I was positive that if I broke down on the side of the road that I could sit there for hours because everybody assumes that everybody else has a cell phone and just flies on by. Like a lot of things it’s as evil as people let it. Mine rarely rings, just like my landline rarely rang whereas my sister must go over her minutes on a monthly basis because she is always on her freaking cell phone.
So true, but I wonder how those of us will both shotgun and cellphone will fare.
Kathleen, as always, speaks the truth. The cellular phone is a tool, like anything else, and as such can save lives and be ultra convenient, or be a white elephant hanging like a cold heavy stone around your asphyxiating gullet. I have one in the car. Turned off. Someday when my auto breaks down along the motorway I’ll have it. It will have a dead battery, but I’ll have it to throw at the oozing maw of a passing zombie.
hi
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good luck