The Zombieslayer

Heh. This probably isn’t even politically correct to talk about. Who are the nicest people on Earth? Well, generally, the more spread out people are, the nicer. Countries that are crowded generally are full of assholes. It’s kind of like putting a bunch of rats together in a small place. We all know what will happen.

Japan is a huge exception. They’re aware of this, so they actually consciously engraved it into their culture to be polite to each other. Yes, bullying happens, but it happens everywhere.

So, here are my top five nicest people on Earth. No, I haven’t been to every country and have no desire to go to certain countries, but am planning on hitting most when time and money allows.

In no order - tier 1 nice people:

The Dutch, the Thais, the Japanese, Kiwis (New Zealanders), and Canadians.

There you go. One thing I must bring up, the French get an unfair bad rep. It’s because of Parisians. Let’s put it this way - if Sally comes from the Netherlands and gets off the plane in New York City, spends a week in only New York City, Sally will have the impression that Americans are assholes. That’s the problem Americans have when they only go to Paris. Leave Paris and the French are alright.

Another thing - Americans are definitely on the Tier 2 Nice list. Americans don’t realize how nice other Americans are until they spend a lot of time in other countries (besides the Tier 1 list, where they’ll realize they’re not the nicest people on Earth). The funny thing is, I hear from foreigners all the time how nice Americans are. It really is refreshing to hear. But any of those top five put us to shame.

Japan is nice with a footnote - if you’re a guy. Women do not get the benefits men do. Sorry ladies. That’s how it is there. With exceptions. One of my friends was a former stripper, and a natural blonde. They treated her like royalty. Not so with most women. Japanese have a thing for blondes. That was last decade though, so that may have changed. I sincerely doubt it though.

With the Thais, being polite is part of their culture, and if I’m not mistaken, their religion too. I love the Thais. One word of caution, do NOT touch a Thai on the head. If you get your ass kicked, I told you so. And Thais can fight. Boxing is their national sport, and it’s not the same boxing we have. Pretty much anything goes in their boxing.

I love the Dutch. I can’t say enough good stuff about the Dutch. Of all the people on Earth, I’d rather work with the Dutch than anyone else. They have a German work ethic with the politeness of the Japanese. Gotta love that.

New Zealand is gorgeous. Open space for miles and miles. Rivers and lakes full of fish. I’m hoping for their sake they keep immigration limited or else they’ll be crowded and suck just like everywhere else. Kiwis are so nice that if you stop on the side of the road to take pictures, half the cars will stop to see if you’re ok. I’m not kidding either. They are that nice.

Canadians are like a slightly nicer version of Americans. They’re what’s keeping us from being in Tier 1. Imagine Americans without the crime paranoia and sexual hang-ups and you have Canadians. Americans make more money, but I won’t kid you, there are times I wish I was Canadian, even with a Canadian salary.

This post is for young straight men who haven’t figured it out yet. (If you’re a young gay man, simply switch the gender).

That dear female friend you have, no you can’t be platonic. You will gradually see the beauty in her and fall in love with her. Take it from someone with more experience than you have. If you’re single, and she’s single, the only time you can be platonic with a woman your age is if:

1) she’s a blood relative,

2) you have a thing for someone else instead

Even if you find her ugly, that will change. I’m telling you, you’ll start seeing the inner beauty in her. You cannot be platonic with a woman your age if you’re single.

And that, my friends, is what broke up my second favorite band. They were “best friends.”

The Alchemist is a novel first published in ‘88 by Brazilian author Paulo Coelho. It deals with a Spanish shepherd boy who encounters a King who convinces him to leave behind a life he is comfortable with in order to seek a treasure.

The boy leaves his flock and Spain altogether, crossing into Africa without speaking a word of Arabic, gets robbed, finds a job, learns Arabic, and has many more adventures, encountering strange people from strange parts of the world like England. I won’t give away more than that of the plot.

Paulo Coelho has a clear writing style and shares his philosophy of life throughout the short novel. We learn about the differences and similarities between Christians, Muslims, and others. We learn of the brutalities of the desert and the strange ways of desert people. We also learn that if anyone tries to sell you a camel, tell that person where he can stick his camel. Buy a horse instead.

Not enough humor and too simple, I think a lot of people got a lot more out of it than I did. Still worth a few hours of your life reading. Personally, for Southern American authors, I like Isabelle Allende much better. Since this was a best-seller though, go ahead and read it just so you can have a conversation with your friend about it. 6 dead zombies.

Here are the last ten albums I listened to.  I don’t like listening to individual songs.  I’ll listen to the whole album.

I got this idea from Just a Cool Cat, so giving credit to where it’s due…

01. The Killers - Hot Fuss
02. Alcatrazz - No Parole for Rock & Roll
03. Manowar - Gods of War
04. The Birthday Massacre - Nothing & Nowhere
05. HIM - Razorblade Romance
06. Dimmu Borgir - Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia
07. Bon Jovi - New Jersey
08. Nightwish - Century Child
09. Cradle of Filth - Bitter Suites to Succubi
10. Leaves Eyes - Vinland Sega

You don’t have to give me ten, but what’s on your speakers right now?