The Zombieslayer

The Zombieslayer
Riding a bike without a helmet for over 30 years

A few prejudices

November 11th, 2007

I hear politically correct people all the time brag about how they’re devoid of prejudice. Yeah, whatever. People like that think their doo doo doesn’t stink. In reality, if you removed the b.s., you’d have nothing but skin.

Has anyone ever bothered to look up the word prejudice in the dictionary? Any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.

Well, I’ll be d*mned. You mean, there are favorable prejudices? Why yes, there are. Here are a few of mine.

I love riding in a car with rednecks. No, they’re not necessarily better drivers, it’s just that if the car breaks down, it won’t be me under the hood trying to figure out what the heck happened.

If a black man invites you over for swine, catfish, or crawdads, cancel ANY previous plans you had.

Gay men are pretty freaking good at cutting hair.

Gay women know exactly what’s wrong with your dog.

If I were holding a job interview for a Unix Systems Administrator, and some guy (or gal) walked in with green hair, a Ramones t-shirt, and facial piercings, I’d immediately abandon the interview and give them the job.

If I was looking for an Accountant and saw one with a $2000 suit and driving a Benz, he’d lose the job to the guy with an $150 suit and a Honda Accord.

If I were single and found out a cute girl had a great relationship with her dad, I’d be sold.

My s*** is safe around Christians or Buddhists.

But I love hanging out with Pagan women, for they’re the most likely to show me their hoo hoos.

I’ve always been good friends with bass players, because they don’t have huge egos and are pretty controlled when practicing martial arts.

My Mexican friends always have beer in the fridge.

Filipinos always have tons of food.

So do Hawaiians.

You can always get some sports game going with the Irish.

Democrats get your pop culture references.

Republicans pay the rent on time and don’t trash your house.

When I’m playing football, I’d rather throw it to a black guy because he can catch a pass the way God intended me to throw.

If I’m playing doubles ping pong, I got dibs on that little shy Asian dude with the glasses who always smiles.

14 Responses to “A few prejudices”

  1. comment number 1 by: Tweetey29

    Hi there. Interesting stuff. I have to agree with you on all counts. I would hate to go under the car and see whats wrong with it.

  2. comment number 2 by: The Zombieslayer

    Tweety - Yeah, I hate working on cars too.
    Rednecks are always hated in the media but I’ve found them to be friendly people. They’re also practical, and can get old cars working, cars that everyone else would have given up on long ago.

  3. comment number 3 by: lime

    that was a pretty funny list. the only one i didn’t quite understand was the unix reference but i am taking yoru word for it since the others seemed accurate as far as i know.

  4. comment number 4 by: Kathleen

    I’m a Democrat and always pay my rent on time…whereas the guy downstairs is a Republican and at least once a year gets an eviction notice for not paying his on time. Just to debunk one of your prejudices.

    I had a great gay hair stylist in SF and a great gay Veterinarian…both males. However, I did have to take the cat to the all night vet once down in Noe Valley and she was a lesbian, so there might be something there. ;-)

  5. comment number 5 by: tshsmom

    HEY, we German/Norwegian girls can play a mean game of ping pong! ;)

  6. comment number 6 by: badman

    I can see it already - your little blog-fan-base here will all chirpingly agree, nigh almost whole-heartedly, with your candid bigotry. Well, I agree too, but then again I’ve never claimed to be anything but. Okay, I’m just going to be over here sewing this pointy white hat thingy.

  7. comment number 7 by: The Zombieslayer

    Lime - Unix is the operating system that controls all the world’s banks, the major ISPs, databases, and supercomputers. People who run it well are usually weirdos.

    Kathleen - Yeah, but with stereotypes come exceptions. Happens all the time.

    Tshsmom - Well, I’m no match for anyone. Not my sport, but still fun to play.

    Badman - I think you missed the whole point of the article. Nobody ever bothers to read what words really mean and instead jump to conclusions.

  8. comment number 8 by: Miladysa

    Love the new blog!

    “If I were holding a job interview for a Unix Systems Administrator, and some guy (or gal) walked in with green hair, a Ramones t-shirt, and facial piercings, I’d immediately abandon the interview and give them the job.”

    My favourite! I had no idea what Unix was but I got the drift :)

  9. comment number 9 by: Tweetey29

    You know that is how one of neighbors is. One day during last fall they were trying to get a bumper straight so they tied the back of the car to the tree in front of the house and pulled on the car. It looked like they were trying to pull the tree down with the car. LOL.. But we got enough out of them that they were just trying to straighten the bumper on the car he just fixed and ready to sell.

  10. comment number 10 by: Beach Bum

    I agree with you that rednecks generally can fix their own cars and just about anything involving a wrench and screwdriver. I know a few that could probably design and build there own cars despite the lack of an engineering degree or high school diploma. I’ll need to check out the pagan women thing though, I know two at work and they have really nice hoo hoos.

  11. comment number 11 by: Leslie

    And THAT is why I married a redneck!

  12. comment number 12 by: Bridget Jones

    and I am so NOT chirping.

  13. comment number 13 by: Jay

    Yup, even this stuff had me feeling kind of squirmy.

  14. comment number 14 by: Granny Annie

    Those were great and right on target. My husband and I both are astonished when people say the are not prejudiced. EVERYONE is prejudiced.

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