I won’t be doing the review of Beowulf
November 28th, 2007This was something I was going to send the other Pretentious Critics, but decided to post it here instead. I’ll let someone else do the review of Beowulf (2007).
Well, I completely lost any desire to see the movie Beowulf now. Looked cool, until I read that Peter Travers of Rolling Stone loved that movie.
First off, you know how much I hate Rolling Stone magazine. America puts out a lot of crappy magazines, but that one takes the cake. I’d rather read Socialist Worker than that crap. That’s how I feel about the journalistic quality of an average Rolling Stone article.
Of all the tripe they put out, Peter Travers takes the cake. The guy has never seen a movie he didn’t like. Anytime there’s an explosion, Peter Travers goes all googlie-eyed and ga-gahs like a three-year-old who just spotted Barney at the supermarket.
He’s known as the “most quoted critic.” Well, no shit. Hollywood loves Peter Travers because the guy’s the biggest kiss ass who ever lived. Any big budget director out there could film himself taking a dump and Peter Travers would exclaim “Genius! This director has done things no other has directed before! With explosive action, hard-hitting dialog, and drama that would leave you on the edge of your seats! Do not miss!”
So if any other pretentious critic wants to take this one, feel free. Even knowing Angelina Jolie struts around sans clothing is not enough incentive to get me to see this movie. If Peter Travers likes it, it’s probably tripe, except with big explosions.
i was sorta kinda looking forward to beowulf until i saw angelina jolie is going to be walking around half naked in it.
My urge to see it as well is pretty much gone. Can’t really say why its just I never really cared for the story in high school.
I had no urge to see it but it suprises me it has taken them so long to make a movie out of the book. It seems they have movies for almost every book out there.
I’m with lime - no interest just because Angelina Jolie was in it…
Too funny. It reminds me of when Roeper had John Cougar Mellencamp as a guest on “At the Movies”. It was awful! He loved every movie and did not even critique them, which was not helpful at all. Also, I’m not a huge Jolie fan, so I think I’ll pass on Beowulf.
I don’t read Rolling Stone, but I did read one snarky book review (of “2012″ by Daniel Pinchbeck), and after reading the book myself discovered that the reviewer (Vanessa Grigoriadis) was so far off base that she might not actually have read the book.
My god people, pull yourselves together.
Pathetic - not seeing a movie because Ms. Jolie is in it? I guess I’m the same - I won’t go see a movie if she’s not in it. But seriously - you all might want to go in for your bi-daily mental fitness check-up before sliding behind the wheel of your auto in joining tonight’s commute, lest you take some innocent fellow driver or pedestrian into your own personal brand of hell. And I can tell you, from what I read here you’re all positive. Positively whacked out of your skulls.
And ZS - you state that Travis loves every movie. And that you won’t go see this movie because he loves it. Uhhhhm - am I missing something obvious?
I’d defend everyone’s hatred for Ms. Jolie. She is nasty, about as attractive as a cow with long green snot dripping down its nose. There is nothing attractive about Jolie. Nothing.
She’s a cutter, has severe eating disorders, carried around Billy Bob Thorton’s blood in a vial, and worst of all, she’s one of those people who thinks she can save the world. Yuck!
So, ahem, if anyone (cough, cough) is bonkers, it’s the guy who has Angelina Jolie in one of his top babes tiers.
So… I take it you are not a fan of Peter Travers then?
dude, i grew up around dairy farms. i’d be offended if i were a cow with a long green snot.
Miladysa - How did you guess?
Lime - Dang. Didn’t mean to offend cows with long green snot. Come to think of it, I think I’d take a cow with long green snot over Angelina Jolie. maybe a dung beetle then.
damn. I’ll have to bribe someone else then to see that movie. I don’t want to see it either. Looks dumb.
People, it’s not the real Angelina. She’s a cartoon.
Nice post.
Ben O.
I went to see it and I was wholly unimpressed. The quality of the CGI wasn’t consistent — it was distracting.
Tweetey, if you want to see a good Beowulf movie, check out Beowulf and Grendel with Gerard Butler. There was also a movie called Grendel produced for the Sci-Fi channel that wasn’t too bad.