great unsung inventors and doughnuts for contractors
January 30th, 2008Here are two of the world’s greatest inventors ever who never got their due. No, I don’t know their names, but maybe they’ll be looking down from Heaven reading my blog and finally get a little bit of R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Know what I’m sayin’?
The first - the guy who invented the noodle. Italians and Chinese will argue until they’re blue in the face who invented the noodle first. The Chinese will say they invented it and Marco Polo brought it back to Italy. The Italians will claim they’ve always had it and Marco Polo just brought back fireworks and the kite. Big deal.
Whatever. Either way, whomever the guy was who invented the noodle gets hats off from yours truly. If I had to say the greatest inventions ever, it would be Penicillin, the wheel, and the noodle in no particular order.
Second, the chick who invented the dropping down toilet roll. You know, you’re at a public stall and you’re just about to run out of T.P. You start to panic, knowing you haven’t finished the job. You pull a little bit more out and BOOM, another roll falls down. You can wipe the sweat off your brow.
Yes, it was a woman who invented that. You know it too. A guy would never think of something like that. So hats off to her.
Doughnuts for Contractors
I’ve been a contractor (as opposed to full-time employee) on more occasions than I would have liked to have been. It’s not fun. You know you’re the first to go if things go south or if jobs get outsourced. Plus, when the expiration date draws near, you can’t concentrate on your work. You have to beef up your resume.
The true thing that sucks about being a contractor though is you don’t get all the perks a regular employee gets. If you see doughnuts laying around, you can’t just take one. Someone might see you. If they do, your contract won’t be renewed and you know it. You’ll have to wait for everyone to go out to lunch and hope there’s one left for you.
I’m a full-time employee now, so I take one with pride, then walk by where the contractors sit with powdered sugar and chocolate all over my face and a boasting smile. I know it pains them. I like to rub it in. “Dang, these are good doughnuts!”
Moral of the story - don’t take a contractor position unless you absolutely have to.
so the noodle beats the printing press? i mean noodles are pretty great and i agree the inventor is an unsung nameless hero, but dude, can you imagine trying to scratch out the bible with a noodle instead of good old gutenburg laying down the ink?
and what’s up with the donut envy you’re trying to invoke. you ought to bring in a box just for the poor contractors.
Lime - You’re expecting me to be nice? No way. Those doughnuts are mine! I was sick that day in kindergarden when we learned about sharing.
As for the printing press, I love books and all, but I eat noodles. And noodles taste good. When they make books taste good, I’d say the printing press is a better invention.
Pass the doughnuts! I’m full-time!
I just have to work a year and I get a week paid vacation.
Kate - Any ideas where you’re going to take that vacation?
ZS shame on you for rubbing it in to the contractors! You should either pass them round and make sure they are included or as Lime said take a box in. tut tut.
I agree with penicillin and again agree with Lime about the printing press.
I have never experienced a ‘drop down toilet roll’ and now feel like I am losing out…
Or you don’t like doughnuts. You don’t like doughnuts, get a contract job.
“Drop down toilet roll” haven’t reach France yet, not to speak of Malaysia.
You know when i first read the title today I was thinking of cops and how they like there coffee and doughnut breaks… LOL. Sorry but here in Green Bay we have some pretty lazy cops. With doughnut shops all over the place.. but anyway noodles are good. And you have that one right in the public bathroom.
Ok, maybe the printing press was as important as the noodle. But I still love noodles. I could eat noodles any day of the week. I can’t eat a printing press.
I like what Kitem said. If you like doughnuts, don’t get a contract job.
Can’t believe the drop down toilet roll hasn’t reached Britain or France. Maybe it’s more recent than I realize. Anyways, if she’s still alive, I’ll buy her a beer. Saved my ass on more than one occasion (no pun intended).
As for cops and doughnuts, that reminds me of a joke. You know how you tell if a cop is dead? The doughnut falls out of his hand.
Wow, you can’t take a doughnut if you’re contract? That’s crazy. At my current job, if there are foodstuffs in the coffee room/kitchen, it’s considered fair game and it’s too hard to keep track of who’s contract and who’s direct (even with the little telltale stripe on the badges - especially as I never wear my badge).
I don’t think my employer in SF had any contract people, the occasional temp, but not really contractors. And at the Univ, if someone brought in food, it was available to adjuncts as well as anybody else who worked there.
I think I’m glad I don’t work at your office, if there are doughnut police.
Oh yeah, for the record, I’m direct, so I could, in your office, take the doughnut.
But my son eats BECAUSE of the printing press since he is a printer so we like the printing press so he can buy noodles for his children. Also, I just saw the Seinfeld episode last night when the gal could not spare a square. Funny show — oops forgot you don’t have TV. Okay, about the donuts….I did not know contractors eould not eat them first. I shall watch more closely in my daily travels to try and out them. You made me remember a terrible day at work when someone brought us a ton of donuts and I ate far more than my share. One of my coworkers emailed everyone and told them how many I ate. Oh woe!
My kudos go to whoever invented toilet paper.
I think the drop down dispensers are defunct now. Everywhere I go they have the giant roll dispenser.
Sorry other commenters, but ZS is right. You can’t eat a book, can you?
Kathleen - You can, but is that something you’d really want to do if you’re a contractor? Imagine, you take a doughnut, then the next guy does, then the hiring boss comes by to grab his and there’s nothing there. She sees a full-time employee with a doughnut, and you the contractor with a doughnut, and looks down in her hand - no doughnut. Not in the position you want to be in.
Granny Annie - Ok, you make a good point there. If he’s able to afford noodles because of the printing press, then it’s all good.
And if you’re going to eat that many doughnuts, you gotta do it in a way that nobody notices. It’s like we had chocolate candies, not cheapies, but really good ones outside the office the other day. I took a few as everyone else did. Right at around 12:10, everyone else was at lunch. I took a big handful and nobody noticed. All they remember is me taking a few just like them.
Tshsmom - The giant roll dispenser doesn’t have that feeling of relief when you think you’re out and another one magically appears.
BJ - Exactly. I’m glad someone’s on my side on this one.
Then hiring boss should have moved faster (or the contractor eaten faster). I would hope nobody would lose their job over something as petty as a doughnut.