The Third Amendment
February 28th, 2008Living in America, Act IV
Character list:
Rusty Lederhosen
Col. ‘Bat’ Guano
Spotti Lederhosen
(knock on the door)
Rusty - Who is it?
Col. Guano - Colonel Bat Guano, 23rd Division and his troops.
Rusty - (opens the door) What do you want at his late hour?
Col. Guano - We hear you have an extra room and I’m going to have to use it to quarter my soldiers.
Rusty - We have some personal stuff in that room and I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline.
Col. Guano - This is not a request, but an order.
Rusty - Read this. (whips out his copy of the U.S. Constitution and points to Amendment III).
Col. Guano - (reads out loud) No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Rusty - Well?
Col. Guano - (red in the face). I’ll be damned. Well, Sir, you have my deepest apologies.
Rusty - (smiles and shakes his hand) No problem. Hey Colonel, you see that pink house?
Col. Guano - Yeah?
Rusty - Well, that’s Larry Schmuckmeister’s house. He has two extra rooms and a big screen TV and no knowledge of the Constitution.
Col. Guano - Sir, a sincere thanks from me and my troops. (Turns to his soldiers). Let’s go to the pink house!
(exit Col. Guano and his troops)
Spotti - (enters in a nightgown and night cap). Rusty? Who was that?
Rusty - (gives his wife a peck on the cheek). Oh, just some soldiers who wanted to use our spare room.
Spotti - You mentioned the Third Amendment, right?
Rusty - Of course, babe!
An important amendment, but I think also the most outdated. It certainly is important to have the right to deny quartering soldiers, but it’s certainly not as widely needed an amendment as many of the others.
Laura - Sure, but still, I’d rather have more freedoms than less. I think if anything, we need to as a nation restore the entire Bill of Rights, especially the 1st, 2nd, 4th, and 10th.
But the reason for this post is just to teach the Bill of Rights and try to make it interesting enough that people will read my posts and hopefully remember the gist of them. I highly doubt schools are teaching our Rights any more.
That was great. I will have to show jeff that one when he comes home.
Interesting.
I understood it - even though I am not familiar with the Bill or the characters
Two words, Martial Law.
Not to make light of the amendment, but your characters remind me of the names on Kingdom of Loathing.
Odd timing, I was just watching a documentary on the US Constitution (the one hosted by Jeff Fahey), and the segment before I paused it and went blog-hopping was on the Third Amendment. :::cue Twilight Zone music:::
Tweetey - Cool.
Miladysa - Combining Dr. Strangelove and Ren and Stimpy. The Bill is the 3rd Amendment to our beloved Constitution.
JACC - Now I feel dumb. I haven’t thought of that.
Notta - What I told Miladysa.
Courtney - And I’m listening to The Twilight Zone on the radio. Now, that’s scary.
I recognize Colonel Bat Guano, although you should have kept the same naming conventions throughout your piece. Funny piece.
I certainly didn’t mean to make you feel dumb. Just to point out that the military very well can come a-knockin’ and under those circumstances we have to let them in.
JJ - Thanks.
JACC - Oh no. This I should have known, so don’t think it was you who made me feel dumb. My friend Neal (the blogger) inspires me to study the Constitution better, and I’m learning I still have a lot to learn.
Knowing when you’re ignorant is a good thing. It makes people get off their butts and do something about it (considering they’re the type that don’t want to stay ignorant).
ROFL great post and nice teaching technique, ZS!!!
Bridget - Thanks.
Inspires you??? Gee, are you trying to give me a big head? I wish I could inspire about 250 million more Americans as easily