The Zombieslayer

It’s been a busy few weeks.  I looked up my blog and found that there hasn’t been a post in 10 days so I better just write something so you know I haven’t disappeared again.

Hope all is well with you all.

By the way, am I getting older or does it seem like more and more people I know are getting cancer? It really is scary.  Getting it late in life is one thing, but it really disturbs me when people under 30 get cancer.

Anyways, there are only 2 things in life that truly suck - death of a loved one and bad health.  Almost everything is else tolerable.  Yes, no need to bring up poverty or homelessness.  I’m aware.  Been through both.  But nothing compares to death of a loved one or bad health.

If you and your loved ones are healthy, count your blessings.  Appreciate it while you can.  There’s an old saying that goes when a man is healthy, he wants a thousand things.  When he’s sick, he only wants one thing.

As you all know, I love cooking.  I never use a recipe.  All my years of cooking, I’ve always just winged it.

This is a Thai dish I made.  I simply fried up some onions and garlic, then chicken, then put those aside.

Next, I cut up some potatoes and cooked them in coconut milk and Thai Green Curry, then threw in the other stuff.

After that, I added mushrooms and finally, sliced up some pineapples and threw in fresh spinach.

Served over rice, it was awesome.  Unfortunately, didn’t have any Singha beer to go with it.  Well, Guinness always works.

Have a good weekend everyone! I’ll be out and about and hopefully hit everyone’s blogs Sunday night.

I got sent this in an email from more than one person now, so I decided to check it to see if it’s legit and according to snopes.com (a website that confirms or refutes urban legends), it is.

Illegal immigration is a serious problem, and it’s going to only get worse as long as we have idiots in the Executive Branch like George W Bush who have their heads up their asses and refuse to enforce the immigration laws. 

It’s good to know that there are still people in this country with a pair of balls who aren’t afraid to say it like it really is.  Thank  you Mr. Daniels. 

Mexican Standoff 04/03/06

I don’t know how everybody else feels about it, but to me I think Hispanic people in this country, legally or illegally, made a huge public relations mistake with their recent demonstrations.

I don’t blame anybody in the world for wanting to come to the United States of America, as it is a truly wonderful place. But when the first thing you do when you set foot on American soil is illegal it is flat out wrong and I don’t care how many lala land left heads come out of the woodwork and start trying to give me sensitivity lessons.

I don’t need sensitivity lessons, in fact I don’t have anything against Mexicans, I just have something against criminals and anybody who comes into this country illegally is a criminal and if you don’t believe it try coming into America from a foreign country without a passport and see how far you get.

What disturbs me about the demonstrations is that it’s tantamount to saying, “I am going to come into your country even if it means breaking your laws and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

It’s an “in your face” action and speaking just for me I don’t like it one little bit and if there were a half dozen pairs of gonads in Washington bigger than English peas it wouldn’t be happening.

Where are you, you bunch of lilly livered, pantywaist, forked tongued, sorry excuses for defenders of The Constitution? Have you been drinking the water out of the Potomac again?

And even if you pass a bill on immigration it will probably be so pork laden and watered down that it won’t mean anything anyway. Besides, what good is another law going to do when you won’t enforce the ones on the books now?

And what ever happened to the polls guys? I thought you folks were the quintessential finger wetters. Well you sure ain’t paying any attention to the polls this time because somewhere around eighty percent of Americans want something done about this mess, and mess it is and getting bigger everyday.

This is no longer a problem, it is a dilemma and headed for being a tragedy. Do you honestly think that what happened in France with the Muslims can’t happen here when the businesses who hire these people finally run out of jobs and a few million disillusioned Hispanics take to the streets?

If you, Mr. President, Congressmen and Senators, knuckle under on this and refuse to do something meaningful it means that you care nothing for the kind of country your children and grandchildren will inherit.

But I guess that doesn’t matter as long as you get re-elected.

Shame on you.

Pray for our troops.

What do you think?

God Bless America

Charlie Daniels
April 3, 2006

This post is a continuation from the previous post. I choose some entertainers, but a few of you chose from a more practical perspective. Well, can’t argue that. We do have to be practical, especially when resources will be limited and good old-fashioned skill sets will be needed.

Save list

A masseuse - Damn right I’m saving a masseuse. You know what it’s like to hold a rifle for eight hours when it’s your job for night duty? After getting your beauty sleep, you automatically get to be the first in line for the masseuse.

Also, a nurse, a dentist, and a carpenter. I don’t think I need to explain why. A plumber would be nice too, especially one who knows septic tanks.

A few more to let die

The person who invented menus on telephones. You know how you call a 1-800 number to get some help and it immediately goes to a menu, then sometimes even a second or third layer of menus? Then the customer service rep asks you the same questions you just answered in the menus. Well, that person who invented menus on telephones must die.

Just imagine, they’re at the door to your compound banging on the intercom. You answer the intercom like this:

You - Hello, and welcome to my anti-zombie compound. For English, press 1. Para español-

Menu inventor - There are no buttons to push! Let me in! The Zombies are coming closer!

You - For Tech Support, press 1. For Sales, press 2. For Service, press 3. For Advertising, press 4. To repeat these options-

Menu inventor - Come on! This isn’t funny! They’re getting closer!

You - I did not get your response. If you need to hear the options again, please press 5. If you need to speak to an Operator, press 0 or remain on the line.

Menu inventor - Aaaaaaaahhhhh!

(Zombies devour Menu inventor)

You know who else deserves to be zombie food? The person who schedules noon meetings. You’ve been at work for over three hours now and you’re starving. Then suddenly you get that flash on your screen. Meeting time.

“Nooooooooo!” Some idiot scheduled a noon meeting. Scratch them from the list of whom to allow in your anti-zombie compound when the plague starts.

To make things worse, your stomach is making noises that people on the other side of the door can hear. It’s not only hurting, but you’re starting to feel weak. Need calories. Now! But you can’t leave because there’s some moron who keeps asking questions and prolonging the meeting. Then it goes into a discussion and just when you think the discussion will end, that same moron turns it in another direction, prolonging the agony by another fifteen painful minutes.

That question person - no admittance. Yes, they’ll be zombie food as well.

Anyone else you want to add to the save list? Anyone else you want to add to the let die list?

I’ve never been to the site Daily Kos before and just happened by and now, I’m realizing they’re a bunch of nutcases. This Kos guy is convinced Geraldine Ferraro, former Democratic VP Candidate, is a racist. Why? She said this back in 1988:

…if Jesse Jackson were not black, he wouldn’t be in the race (running for President).

Heaven forbid! She said something taken completely out of context! She must be in the KKK!

So Kos goes on to call her a “bona fide racist.”

Well, my friends, I too am a bona fide racist. One day, I went to see my friend M who I haven’t seen in years. I thought someone else was M and called out his name. It was some other dude. So I finally saw M and told him the story and how “all white people look the same to me.” He laughed. That makes me a bona fide racist, right?

Or, my friend O and I were talking about Obama. She said “I’m not going to vote for that Negro.” Is she a bona fide racist too? Or probably in Kos’ case, Kos would call her a bona fide Uncle Tom (or bona fide Aunt Tamara?)

One day, I grabbed one of D’s beers from his fridge. As I was grabbing one, he yelled out “grab me one too, Colored Kid!” Now, D is definitely racist, right? A bona fide racist. Of course, I grabbed him one because he’s my friend, but then as a bona fide racist, I said “here’s your beer, Whitey.” Both of us, bona fide racists.

Now Kos is calling for Hillary Clinton to break ties with Ferraro because that bona fide racist Geraldine Ferraro is hurting her campaign for what she said in 1988. That’s funny. Only in 1986, Al Gore’s wife was warning white parents about black rappers making passes at their white daughters, calling for records made by homosexuals to be labeled as such (don’t want to give heterosexual white kids any ideas about turning gay, now would we?), and Al Gore himself called homosexuals “abnormal.” Yet, Al Gore is Kos’ hero. Go figure.