I hate the Lakers and much more!
May 24th, 2008I hate the Lakers. I hate the Dodgers too, but I really hate the Lakers. In fact, I hate the Lakers so much that my favorite team is anyone playing the Lakers. No, I don’t follow basketball. I just hate the Lakers.
Have you ever noticed that whenever a ref calls a foul on the Lakers, they always show Jack Nickelson’s expression? I’m tired of seeing that. I don’t care how cool Jack might be, he’s not coming into my anti-zombie compound until he renounces his love the Lakers!
“Zombieslayer! Please! They’re coming!”
“You know the password, Jack.”
“Lakers suck!”
“I can’t hear you.”
“Lakers suck!”
“Ok, Spencer, let Jack in.”
No, I didn’t go. You know why I didn’t go? Tickets were $22.50 (not including the Evil Empire’s, I mean Ticketmaster’s inconvenience fee) and they weren’t even the headlining band. Some other band I never heard of was headlining, so I’m not spending $30 to see my dear Chibi for only a 35-40 minute set.
Still, I got dibs on Chibi. Yes, she’s much cuter in real life than this shot:
So when the plague starts, I got dibs on Chibi, Christina Ricci, and Monica Bellucci. He did get dibs on Keira Knightley which greatly pissed me off. I got Salma Hayek too, but I haven’t told him that yet. I hope that ruins his day.
Who do you got dibs on? Remember, you better do it now. The zombie plague starts a lot sooner than you realize.
Speaking of the zombie plague, some Democrats in the California Assembly are trying to get a $25 tax each time you buy ammo passed. So, they’re showing their true colors. They only want the rich to survive the zombie plague. Told you that you can’t trust them.
The Lakers just beat the defending champs 101-71. That type of beating would make Michael Jackson’s father proud. You got your champagne ready?
for the first 4 years of marriage i woke up every morning to a life sized poster of magic johnson going for a lay-up with his tongue hanging out. i think i deserve some sort of recognition for tolerance of that level. and have you ever tried to make love under the leering eye of magic johnson? really…sheesh….and the man wonders why i developed a taste for rooms other than the bedroom (ok, TMI, i know) i hate the lakers too….i also hate the yankees.
oh, and i got dibs on hugh jackman and george clooney. dibs i tell ya!
Skeletor - Ah yes, I forgot you’re a Lakers fan.
Repent!
Lime - Hugh Jackman and George Clooney, huh? I actually think the former did a great job in the first X-Men.
And yes, I hate the Yankees too. Hate ‘em.
I got dibs on Tom Selleck and Kurt Russell. These men can shoot! …and they’re not bad to look at either.
Hmmm.. I have dibs on Sam Elliot. No, not because of his looks, but I absolutely love his voice. Yes, I know he’s an old geezer, but still.
Ok, I didn’t know what “dibs” meant, now I have guessed I can say I have a cruch for Georges Cloney, he is very hot in France.
Being a foreigner, I am lucky not to care about any basketball players and clubs. ha ha ha.
uhhh well no dibs on a female that’s for sure. Tom Selleck, but then I’d have to wrestle with NW for him!!!
I’m calling dibs on Nora O’Donnell, Alex Witt from MSNBC and the hot blond cylon chick from Battlestar. Heard someone talking about zombies the other day, but didn’t catch what context they were talking about them. Kind of freaked me a little to be honest.
Speaking of the zombie plague, some Democrats in the California Assembly are trying to get a $25 tax each time you buy ammo passed. So, they’re showing their true colors. They only want the rich to survive the zombie plague. Told you that you can’t trust them.
ZS, aren’t they trying to levy a huge tax on porn now too to relieve the deficit? I saw it on drudge the other day and I think it’s still up. And I hate the Lakers too but I am rooting for them to get to the Finals because I hate the Spurs more and I want a LA/Boston NBA Finals because that will bring the NBA back to where it belongs in this sports world. And don’t get me started on Ticketmaster, they really suck, shouldn’t some anti-trust lawyer stop going after Microsoft and start nailing them?
Tshsmom - I loved Magnum, P.I. and Quigley Down Under. Selleck’s cool. Kurt Russell is too. Big Trouble in Little China is one of my top guilty pleasure movies of all-time.
Notta - Sam Elliot is cool too. I like his slow, deep drawl. I like how he continues to play in films as an old, wise cowboy.
Kitem - Lime already got dibs on Clooney.
Bridget - Sorry. You snooze, you lose. That’s how dibs works.
Beach - That hot blond cylon chick does a great job at manipulating that annoying sociopath. I can’t stand that guy. I stopped watching BSG because I think they jumped the shark when Starbuck and Apollo started having an affair, but she’s definitely a hottie.
The other 2, I’ll have to do a Google images search for.
Ben - Geez. Porn? That’s so lame!
How about taxing Hollywood then? Oh, that would piss off all their donors.
Of course, I’m joking. The last thing this country needs are more taxes.
Ok, LA vs Boston would be cool, but of course, I’d have to root for Boston because I hate the Lakers.
As for Ticketmaster, that would be a great post. It is a trust, and trust-busting keeps capitalism flowing.
Okay, Shia LaBeouf, Jeff Fahey, Catherine Zeta-Jones and I’ll arm wrestle you for Monica Bellucci!
Uhm, Hayek? Breasts are not my thing, my friend - she is ALL yours. I will however take Jessica Alba.
So, ladies and gentlemen, let me recap the current draft standing:
ZS picks:
Chibi
Victoria Abril
Christina Ricci
Monica Bellucci
Salma Hayek
BM picks:
Rose McGowan
Keira Knightley
Charlize Theron
Natalie Portman <– this was my undisclosed pick when you took MB
Jessica Alba <– this is my pick for your SH
Okay, your turn.
So as not to annoy your readers, I have created an entry on my page: http://www.pretentiouscritics.com/Rants/Badman/?p=79
Courtney - Dibs is dibs. You snooze, you lose. Catherine Zeta-Jones, I’m bummed to lose but I already got Ms. Bellucci.
Badman - Posted on yours. Your move.
Dammit!! I *love* Sam Elliott and was actually thinking about him this morning while walking to work. I can’t believe somebody got dibs before me!!!
Dibs on Richard Dean Anderson and Peter Wingfield.
Uh, kids, you’re discounting the Pistons already? Boston hasn’t won it yet. Just sayin’…
May I join the “I hate the Yankees” club, please?
You, baby, then I get ‘em all!