Taken for granted
July 6th, 2008I had this discussion with my wife earlier, how people with natural abilities often take them for granted, and you see so many people with obvious handicaps who excel in life. Of course, not at all implying it’s better off to have a handicap, because that’s just one more hurdle you have to get over in life.
My point though was this - it’s better to have drive and persistence than natural abilities. We mentioned the smartest people we know in terms of straight up I.Q. and they’re struggling, really struggling. Hands down the smartest person I know is a year older than I and still hasn’t graduated college. He’s heavily in debt, and is always changing focus in life. He starts a million things, but never finishes any of them.
The same goes with good-looking people of both genders. You almost never meet anyone funny who’s good looking. It’s probably because if you’re good looking, you don’t have to have a personality. Things just happen for you. You’ve probably heard it a million times - I thought that person was attractive until they opened their mouth. That’s because they’re used to the world revolving around them and they never had to develop a personality. Naturally good-looking people are often dull. They get by on looks alone.
I was living in an Old Rich town not too long ago. I liked the kids, but they lacked substance, character, and depth. Ironically, a lot of the kids from my old refinery town, well, the ones who didn’t go to jail, are doing quite well.
Rich kids don’t have to struggle. They know when their parents die, they’ll inherit some fat coin. So they often don’t. Why when you don’t have to?
It’s not just the good-looking, the rich, but everything. Sometimes the best athletes are the ones with serious handicaps - they had asthma, they were crippled as a child, people made fun of them, they were considered too small, too slow, or whatever. I’ve known kids with natural artistic ability who have done absolutely nothing with it because their art came too easy to them.
So, once again, I’m not at all implying you’re better off with a handicap. I’m just saying that those with natural talents often take them for granted.
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And completely changing the subject, I went to Tshsmom’s blog and read the best post I’ve read in awhile. Give it a read.
I hear this loud and clear. I am one of those people with natural ability, my writing, which I seem to have such a hard time putting to good use.
On the other hand, I am funny AND pretty, although I never felt pretty growing up so thats probably where the funny came in… I got picked on a lot, and I have never had money of any substantial value. Not handicapped by any means, but also not having much to take for granted. Except my writing, which I think that I do.
I guess my thought would be, there is a serious lack of direction for most of our society; because most of the choices are not really choices at all, and the ones who do succeed seem to have some purpose for succeeding; survival, pride, determination to prove something, or a need to test their capabilities. Those who don’t apply themselves, probably feel despair that what they do wont matter anyway.
All in all, I think that purpose is the most important thing a person can have. A great line I once heard was: “Find what you’re good at, and do it with all that you are.” ~ Dolly Parton
Waaaaaiiit just a minute… Woody Allen… good looking and funny.
Vest said…
My reply on Tshsmom post “MY CANDIDATE.
Most probably it is because we all are, other wise we with all the answers would be doing their job and being disliked as much as those we dislike now.
Too bad that all the people who know how to run a country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
7/06/2008 5:40 PM
Clothosfate - Of course there are exceptions. You’ll find funny and good-looking; it’s just an exception and far from the rule.
Good quote by Parton. I’ve always liked her. And yes, that’s a good point about people not having purpose/direction.
Bo -
Vest - I’m sure they’d rather be cutting hair than running this country. You may have to sell your soul to get far in politics, although it’s doubtful either Obama or McCain had one to begin with.
“So, once again, I’m not at all implying you’re better off with a handicap. I’m just saying that those with natural talents often take them for granted.”
Same can be said for privilege as well (as you eluded to in your rich kids example). The only way for those kids to really get anything out of life is to recognize their own privilege and do something constructive with it. Most times, people live oblivious to their own privilege whether it be social/cultural capital or economic.
The only way to understand others’ points of view is to detach from your own “common sense” and see the world from another perspective.
The same goes with good-looking people of both genders. You almost never meet anyone funny who’s good looking. It’s probably because if you’re good looking, you don’t have to have a personality. Things just happen for you.
The “beautiful people” who are smart and funny scare me sometimes when I sense them using their gifts to manipulate people for the wrong reasons. Of course that’s why I wouldn’t piss on most politicans if they were on firs next to me.
Vest said…
Where I live in Australia we are fined if we don’t vote. It is a two minute walk to the polling booths and the main shopping centre. Our district is in a stranglehold from the right wing about 80%, never changes, So to save forty bucks we shop and vote at the same time. more time could be saved if one simply wrote bol**ocks and shoved it in the box.
Have a lovely day.
7/07/2008 5:40 AM
Vest the pest is back…
it reminds me of something my mom wrote in a book of ‘grandmother’s memories’ for my kids.
“i wish you enough hardship to give you character but not so much to break you.”
That’s a neat perspective. I never really thought about personality developing that way before…makes sense!
WTF. Thanks for the comp. you are so nice.xx.
Having read only a few paras of your spiel on WTF, our Doc suggested the perpertrater of the long drawn out mish mash of info was most probably afflicted to at least three or more of the categories suggested.
Getting people to read and try to understand It, was probably designed as a means to attract business for medicos. An associate, a corporate lawyer; read part of it and is now suffering severe depression.
business
so true!! hehe
You are so right about rich kids and how they are. I know quite a few people exactly like you just mentioned and its weird thinking about it when you put it in this perpective.
Interesting post. I have two friends with disabilities and both work very hard. For one, in particular, it is amazing to me all of the things she can do. She gets way more accomplished in her day than I do. Plus, she is amazing to talk to. Anytime I need a dose of “therapy”, I just visit her.
Zomb, at last you post!! Very thoughtful and insightful.
Am glad that I’ll never know what you are talking about as far as the talent/looks thing goes (rofl).
Do agree with you, with one exception, that all the pretty folks I’ve met/known over the years have been as dull as ditchwater. A lot is handed over to those with ‘assets’, isn’t it?
Did you see the bit about this kid? I thought you were going to link to him when you talked about people with handicaps succeeding in life because they try harder.
Ah yes. I am quite familiar with Adam Bender but forgot his name so didn’t mention him. He’s awesome. Goes to show…
I always read ZS’s stuff.
I always agree with him.
-r
PS: That’s because they took out my brain, cloned it, then destroyed both copies and gave me a shoddy casing full of used pinball machine parts instead.
But at least I can lean on my friend ZombieSlayer.
(Hey, greetings from the Peninsula!)
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heh heh: “lurker” heh.
-r
aka Savage
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