Do What YOU want to do
October 13th, 2008This is part two of my last rant. I hope I didn’t sound like I was anti-college. I’m not. I’m just saying that college isn’t the end all be all of employment. If college is your route, go there for the education, not as a guarantee of a job.
Sage mentioned trade schools. Yes, trade schools are underrated. One of my buddies went to a technical trade school and weathered both storms I got hit by, the early 00s and today’s. He’s doing great. Meanwhile, almost everyone else I knew has either been laid off or is worrying about it.
Do not do things to please your parents. I tell this to my son all the time. Don’t get good grades for me, do it for yourself. And be the person you want to be, not the person you think I want you to be.
I went to college for 6 years - four years to get my Bachelors, and two years in Grad school. I dropped out of Grad school because I was seeing dollar signs in the technical field, and knew that I already had the knowledge to get a good job so the Masters degree was meaningless.
In that time, I saw a lot of people who didn’t belong in college. They were there because their parents expected them to be there. They ended up rebelling in other ways, like destroying their bodies with alcohol or something else equally stupid. Then they drop out because they think they couldn’t handle it but in reality, they had no business being there in the first place.
Life is short. You most likely won’t live to be a hundred. If you do, great, but that still doesn’t mean you should waste your prime years in something you hate doing.
Do something you love doing, and if it means you have to give up the big house, the dream car, and the giant TV, so what? Do you really need the big house, the dream car, and the giant TV? Will those three things really make you happy?
Forty hours a week plus the time you spend commuting is a lot of time. Don’t waste it doing something you hate. Your life is worth more than that.
My wife and I are the only children of 8 in both families without a degree… two of our three kids have BAs and are succesful in their fields… the third is a junior, doing well. With that said, I don’t think we ever pushed college on them.
If you have kids, it’s really, really, really important to make it clear to them that you don’t have some sort of expectations about what you want them to do/be. We always told our kids that we would be proud, happy parents if whatever they wanted to do was legal, they were happy doing it and they would meet their financial obligations.
I dare not show this to my wife. She would castrate me for even allowing my son to see this and then she would ban me from ever entering a zombie safe compound.
I went to college because I wanted to. At first, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to do, but I knew I would not find my passion working dead-end low paying jobs. I was lucky enough to find something I enjoy, that pays well, and where I have job security. That being said, I’ve come to the realization that the only way I can do my job until I retired (without burning out or taking up drinking) is to not work full time. Like you, I’ve known people who did not belong in college.
As far as kids, it’s tough for me. I want K to be his own person, but he is not particularly motivated by much of anything except for money and classic cars/trucks. He doesn’t seem to see the connection between at least graduating high school and being able to make a decent living. Really, he needs a trade. I realized some time ago he will not fit well into a college setting. I’m still coming to grips with it. I value education, so it’s very hard for me to see that he views it as a “waste of time”. I think the only way he will learn some of the lessons he needs to is to feel some pain. We’ll see what the future has in store for him.
Follow your dreams because you have to. But make sure you don’t starve.
Because some times following your dreams - whoops, I forgot to eat. I know the artists, the musicians, and the actors are always starving until they get their dream fixed.
I went to one year of college directly out of HS.. and because I wasn’t into fully.. I struggled through the year.
Took two years off working at a dealership selling cars, banked money and lived a little bit of my life until one day I made the decision on a career choice.. rerolled in back in a full time college and had a very positive and successful experience.
I needed time off and glad I took it against the grain of what parents and godparents thought was wise at the time.
So in short.. I agree, follow your heart and feelings.. but don’t forget it is never too late to go back. I would recommend the break to just about anyone I knew that would be able to “go back” after the break.
well my middle child said a couple years ago she didn’t need to go to college because she wanted to be a beautician. i said, be a beautician if you want but be an educated one…go to college anyway. the education i got in college went so far beyond what occurred in the classroom or in the text books.
that said, yes…nourish the dreams. too many of mine got buried alive and i still hear them scratching at the coffin lids.
I am the only person in my family who has not finished college, and my husband is the only person in his family who has a degree. Yes, that degree helped him land a great salary, but we’re still tortured by the monthly student loan payment. The balance never seems to go down. It’s like all we’re doing is paying the freakin’ interest. We’ve been owing, like, $16k for the last 5 years!! We asked for a statement to be sent, and it says we’ve been paying on it since 1997. He didn’t even enter the damn school until 2001! Something up in the Oklahoma Student Loan Program is seriously f**ked up!
Leslie - That’s how mine is too. It just never goes down. I haven’t been in college since ‘98. Paid off the credit card debts since then, but still owe a lot in student loans. So I think that’s everywhere, not just Oklahoma.
Lime - As long as college doesn’t get in the way. Read Leslie’s response. Those student loan bills never die. They’re like a bad horror movie where you stab, shoot, poison, and decapitate the monster, but it keeps coming back.
Pack - I had to take a year off. I wasn’t ready.
And no one is too old for college. One of the top students in our Computer Science department was 51.
Kate - Of course, within reason. Musicians and artists are also notoriously bad with money too though.
Notta - Blue collar work used to pay very well with a high school degree until The Man brought in illegals to undercut the Working Class.
Don’t worry about K. He’s young. He’ll find what he loves in time. Some people don’t know who they are until their 30s. Some in their 20s. And some grew up knowing exactly who they were and what they wanted to do.
College is really a waste of time for some people. Some folks aren’t cut out for it. I know it must hurt because you yourself are an educator, but that’s how it is. Heck, my son has no love of music at all and music is my life. Fate is weird.
Neal -
I know exactly why too. Has to do with a certain ethnicity.
Bo - Excellent points. That’s kind of what I was getting at. And by the way, your writing is quite good. You’re well “self-educated,” which a lot of snob nosed people with college degrees like to believe doesn’t exist.
Yes, I got a degree and also spent 2 years in Grad School. But I look up to people who can make things work like electricians and mechanics. Those people absolutely amaze me.
Strangely enough I heard about a scientist who identified the glow gene in jellyfish that two other guys worked with and got the Nobel for is now driving a cab. I won’t underrate a full college education, especially since I will make my son a daughter get one, but its a sad testament when such a educated talented guys is having to drive a cab,
Beach - Yeah, but it’s happening. Heck, I almost drove a cab and I’m not too far from a Master’s in Comp Sci. But we keep exporting technical jobs to India, what do we expect?
You are a wise man ZS
wow!! sometimes i am amazed by the words of wisdom you pour out. Ya you are right.
i guess that sort of thing also depend on where you are. For me, i am happy with where i am though i listened more to my parents than i would have listen to myself. i guess i never knew what i wanted and even now i am not to sure, but that’s ok. I think i am ok cause i am happy and i think that is all that matters.
excellent post.
again I agree, do it because you love it and the happiness will come.
You won NFL Week 6!
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