The Zombieslayer

Thanksgiving went pretty well.  I made the stuffing.  I used one organic Asian Pear, one organic Fuji Apple, one onion, lots of garlic, four slices of well-toasted bread, and about a glass of red wine.  It actually tasted pretty good.  Oh yeah, threw some salt and pepper in there too.

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Glad the election’s over.  No, nobody or nothing I voted for won.  Ron Paul’s too intelligent to be President of the USA.  Get this, the criticisms I’ve heard of Ron Paul is that “he scares me.”  Sure, throw logic right out the window and use an argument ad hominem.  But then again, I don’t expect intelligence from the American voters.

Dad used to get me Time magazine for Christmas.  I told him not to this year.  I hate that magazine.  Both Time and Newspeak couldn’t do an article on Obama without mentioning his race.  Couldn’t talk about Hillary Clinton and later Sarah Palin without mentioning their gender.  It got pretty fucking annoying.  Pardon my French.

For those of you who make fun of sports, that’s one thing I like about sports.  It was the one thing I did when nobody asked me my race.  I got sick of hearing it.  Had to always fill in my race for whenever I applied for anything except sports.  With sports, I just played.  If I performed well, they liked me.  If I sucked, they didn’t.  That’s how it should be.

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I saw a bunch of movies and am too lazy to review them so I’ll write a skinny on each of them.

Star Wars Clone Wars - For a cartoon aimed for kids, I found it quite watchable. No, don’t expect good dialog or plot, because after all it is Star Wars which is well-known for bad dialog and plot holes. But still, I enjoyed. 6 dead zombies.

The Eye (2008) - Always a pleasure to see Jessica Alba. Heck, she could be brushing her teeth and she’d be fun to watch. But this is a horror movie so she’s not so hot in this one.

The Pang Brothers give you a flick about a blind girl picking up the eyes from a dead donor. Catch is, the eyes come from a witch. A few predictable plot twists and some scary scenes. Not a bad effort, but not something you’d write home about. 4 dead zombies

The Orphanage - OK horror film buffs, this is how it’s done. I usually see plot twists coming from a mile away but there were a few that even I didn’t get. Excellent first effort from Juan Bayona and of course anything Guillermo Del Toro even sneezes on is going to be watchable.

A couple move into an old home with their adopted child and the home comes with a few surprises. Set in Spain and in Spanish. 8 dead zombies

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That’s it, folks. Hope you’re all enjoying your Thanksgiving weekend. For those of you not in the USA, hope you’re all enjoying your weekend that started last night. Don’t feel bad. No matter what country you’re from, you probably get more holidays than we do. All Americans do is work.

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Oh yeah, one more thing…

Watched Conan the Barbarian last night.  I finally bought the DVD because it was $10 for both Conan movies.  That was hands down the most romantic movie ever made.  No, don’t tell me The Titanic or any of that other garbage.  Conan’s girlfriend fought off demons to bring Conan back from the dead.  Now, that’s love folks.

Hello World. My cold is already gone. Slammed it with Vitamin C and plenty of rest. Didn’t even have to hit the bottle of NyQuil (generic, of course).

I got yet another person to try Firefox. She was having problems with Internet Exploder. Surprise, surprise. That’s my good deed for the day. I keep this up and just wondering, how many miracles in one’s name to be a Saint? Two? Three? Any Catholics out there?

The Packers bitch slapped da Bears this weekend 37-3. Here I was getting frustrated with my beloved Packers and they completely demolish da Bears. Good job, Pack. It does seem like Favre and the Jets though are going to go farther than the Packers. It’s simply because the Jets seem to have a lot more heart.

I believe in morale in sports. I think it plays a bigger part than people realize. Proof of that was last years New York Giants, winning the Super Bowl while upsetting three straight teams that are on paper superior.

Now, what I’m about to say is with a HUGE asterisk. I am NOT a financial planner so anything I say, consult a professional first before buying anything. But right now, I’m gambling on two things - the price of oil going back up and Ford. Yes, Ford Motors.

Oil’s kind of a given. It’s cheap right now. People need it. I’m still seeing soccer moms drive around the suburbs in SUVs (with big frowns on their faces of course), so it’s not like our consumption is going down that much. India and China are both poised to be big time oil consumers as they start flaunting their wealth. Keep in mind that for every American, there are almost four Indians and almost four Chinese.

The other thing is Ford Motors. Two things:
1) Obama will be President in January 20, 2009. Obama has already announced a bailout of the auto industries and whether you like it or not, it will pass Congress.
2) I just bought the latest issue of Consumer Reports and Ford leads the domestics.

And lastly, for those anti-gunners out there, here’s something to ruin your day. You all know I own a lot of guns. Lots of them. Well, while your stocks have lost a lot of value, my guns have gone up, up, and up. Now if only I invested in even more guns instead of the Dow…

Yes, even yours truly gets sick sometimes.  I think right now everyone and their Grandma’s catching the same cold.

So, what does The Zombieslayer do? Make soup, of course.

You remember how I was mentioning I go to the Farmer’s Market religiously now? Here’s the soup.  I use the veggies that are left, throw them all in to some Organic chicken broth, add garlic, freshly ground black pepper, Vietnamese hot garlic sauce, leftover pasta, and stew it all together.

Hopefully it will turn out good.  I’ll cook it another ten minutes then grab a bowl.

So…

I was at work, talking to a woman in her mid-40s, a man in his early 40s, and a man in his early 60s, and we were all wondering what the hell is wrong with today’s kids.

Several things we noticed.

One - there was only one fat kid in your class.  He was the fat kid.  Heck, in my school, we had one fat kid in my whole grade.  Nowadays, it’s normal to be the fat kid.  It seems like half the kids today are fat.

Two - Motivation.  Kids today are lazy.  Seem to have no desire to do anything.  They just sit around the house and bitch.  When I was a kid, I was obsessed with football.  Played it every chance I got.  Then I got a little bit older and got into music heavily and still later Dungeons and Dragons.

You’d never see me at the house.  I was always at a friend’s house playing D&D, listening to music, or on some field playing tackle football.

Three - Kids today are wimps.  I remember if we didn’t have enough people for tackle football, we’d play Smear the Queer.  There was always that kid who was afraid of being tackled so he’d intentionally fumble the ball before someone tackled him.  I’d always get so mad that I’d tackle him anyways.  He’d complain and I’d just say I didn’t see that he didn’t still have the ball, but the other kids took my side because they knew he did it intentionally and should have been tackled.

Four - What’s with the empty fields? When I was growing up, you’d never see the fields empty.  Now the only time you see them being used is for organized sports.

Well, I’ll tell you what’s wrong.  It’s the Safety Moms.  Safety Moms will not be allowed in my anti-zombie compound, I assure you.  They deserve to be zombie food in my book.  They’re always afraid of their precious widdle children from being hurt that the kid’s practically a zombie.

Unfortunately, they’ve taken over.  They’re everywhere.  They’re the ones with the SUVs with an anti-gun sticker on the back who demasculinize their boys every chance they get.  Their kids are on ritalin and are pretty much drones, having no mind of their own.

The thing that really hurts this country is now we’re getting serious competition from China and India, and all the competitiveness is sucked right out of children.  That’s not a good thing and will only bring this country down.  Competition is a good thing.  Being able to say “I’m better than you” is a good thing.  Losing is a good thing, because it’s a motivator.  As a child, I hated losing and every time I lost, I forced myself to get better because I didn’t want to lose again.

These Safety Moms though don’t want their widdle children to have these experiences, sheltering them from any physical or emotional harm.  Let me tell you something - life is rough.  How are these children going to compete for a job interview? How are they going to survive getting their jobs sent overseas? How are they going to survive their significant other out of the blue telling them they don’t love them any more? I’ll tell you right now that they won’t cut it, and all this security is a bad thing, just making children unprepared for adult life.

I used to say my worst nightmare was Tipper Gore being First Lady. Now add to that - another Bush being President of the United States of America. After January 20, 2009, I don’t want to see Jeb Bush, Barbara Bush, or Jenna Bush anywhere near the White House unless with a visitor’s pass.

Sure, I’ve said before that the child does not inherit the sins of the parents, but in this case, I’m making an exception. This is a family of incompetant idiots and I don’t want them anywhere near my wallet.

Who the hell buys Paris Hilton perfume? I just want to know. And to those who buy it, I want to ask “what the hell is wrong with you?” Do you really want to smell like Paris Hilton? Add Celine Dion to the list. If I were single and my date was wearing either Paris Hilton or Celine Dion perfume, date’s over and don’t expect a call back.

I have no desire to see the next James Bond movie. This is going to be my first time not seeing a James Bond movie. They became politically correct in the 90s, moreso after Ian Flemming died (I’m sure he’s rolling in his grave too), and never recovered.

I don’t care what anyone says, Roger Moore was the best James Bond. Sean Connery neither looks nor sounds like James Bond (this is coming from someone who read the books, so if you didn’t read the books, as far as I’m concerned, your opinion is worthless). Now, don’t get me wrong, Sean Connery is as cool as they come, but Moore was the best Bond.

Metal is where it’s at and grunge was the worst thing to happen to music in the 20th century. Well, besides Billy Ray Cyrus and Michael Bolton but that’s a given.

I realized long ago that Ron Paul is too intelligent to be President of the United States.

I like spinach. I’m starting to learn that you can make zucchini and squash both taste good if you know what you’re doing. But Brussel Sprouts on the other hand, they go nowhere near anything I cook.

One thing that sucks about living in California is whenever you buy a sandwich, some God damn hippie puts that rabbit food sprout crap in the sandwich. I hate that stuff.

If American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and Bollywood are the best the human race can do, maybe the human race needs to be devoured by zombies.

I’m happy to say I’ve only suffered through one Steven Spielberg movie in the 00s. He’s #1 on my list of most overrated directors. Lucas is #2, but he’s got a long way to go to even come close to catching Spielberg.

Brett Favre is the greatest QB to ever play the game. When the Packers are sitting at home watching the Jets in the Playoffs on TV, you might start hearing more and more fans calling for their GM’s dismissal.

If Drew Barrymore is reading this, take off that Judas Priest t-shirt. Poseur! Priest is sacred and you’re not worthy of wearing that t-shirt.

Rolling Stone magazine still sucks.