I rant. Therefore, I am
November 12th, 2008
I used to say my worst nightmare was Tipper Gore being First Lady. Now add to that - another Bush being President of the United States of America. After January 20, 2009, I don’t want to see Jeb Bush, Barbara Bush, or Jenna Bush anywhere near the White House unless with a visitor’s pass.
Sure, I’ve said before that the child does not inherit the sins of the parents, but in this case, I’m making an exception. This is a family of incompetant idiots and I don’t want them anywhere near my wallet.
Who the hell buys Paris Hilton perfume? I just want to know. And to those who buy it, I want to ask “what the hell is wrong with you?” Do you really want to smell like Paris Hilton? Add Celine Dion to the list. If I were single and my date was wearing either Paris Hilton or Celine Dion perfume, date’s over and don’t expect a call back.
I have no desire to see the next James Bond movie. This is going to be my first time not seeing a James Bond movie. They became politically correct in the 90s, moreso after Ian Flemming died (I’m sure he’s rolling in his grave too), and never recovered.
I don’t care what anyone says, Roger Moore was the best James Bond. Sean Connery neither looks nor sounds like James Bond (this is coming from someone who read the books, so if you didn’t read the books, as far as I’m concerned, your opinion is worthless). Now, don’t get me wrong, Sean Connery is as cool as they come, but Moore was the best Bond.
Metal is where it’s at and grunge was the worst thing to happen to music in the 20th century. Well, besides Billy Ray Cyrus and Michael Bolton but that’s a given.
I realized long ago that Ron Paul is too intelligent to be President of the United States.
I like spinach. I’m starting to learn that you can make zucchini and squash both taste good if you know what you’re doing. But Brussel Sprouts on the other hand, they go nowhere near anything I cook.
One thing that sucks about living in California is whenever you buy a sandwich, some God damn hippie puts that rabbit food sprout crap in the sandwich. I hate that stuff.
If American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and Bollywood are the best the human race can do, maybe the human race needs to be devoured by zombies.
I’m happy to say I’ve only suffered through one Steven Spielberg movie in the 00s. He’s #1 on my list of most overrated directors. Lucas is #2, but he’s got a long way to go to even come close to catching Spielberg.
Brett Favre is the greatest QB to ever play the game. When the Packers are sitting at home watching the Jets in the Playoffs on TV, you might start hearing more and more fans calling for their GM’s dismissal.
If Drew Barrymore is reading this, take off that Judas Priest t-shirt. Poseur! Priest is sacred and you’re not worthy of wearing that t-shirt.
Rolling Stone magazine still sucks.
LOl well, I agree with 2/3 of these, especially the Bush stuff and the Hilton perfume. There is a great item on the LOLCelebs site that shows a pic of her on all fours with the caption ‘I don’t remember ordering crabs’.
ROFL.
I must say you make a lot of good points. Paris Hilton’s “good” qualities are she’s rich (by birth), slim, blonde, and has a similar intelligence (or lack of) to most of her fans (which is good enough to make you a star or even get you to the White House). What’s wrong with humanity?
I disagree about grunge. Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, and Alice in Chains were all really good bands, and all way better than Nirvana, who is one of the most overrated bands in history. Since the breakup of Guns n’ Roses, hard rock has been progressively getting worse to the point it’s at now, a complete joke, at least in the mainstream.
Favre is one of the greatest but not the greatest. He’s a tough son of a bitch, which has enabled him to amass ridiculous career totals, but he’s only won one Super Bowl, and he’s had his chances to win more.
If you feel like either throwing up or kicking someone’s ass, read Rolling Stones Top 100 Guitarists List. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever read in a magazine.
Did you see the South Park where Spielberg and Lucas rape Indiana Jones?
Well, I don’t mind the sprouts, but I don’t want to see a Bush anywhere near the White House because they have cancer of the wallet.
I’m more confused by Michael Jordon cologne. Do you want to smell like a sweaty athlete?? That’ll get you laid for sure
I agree with most of these. I have to say though, hypothetically speaking, Jeb would have probably been a better president than Georgie. That said, I’m not willing to test that theory.
Skeletor:
That is my favorite South Park of the new season. That was absolutely brilliant!!
i truly do not understand the proliferation of celebrity names perfumes. paris and celine are only 2 of whow many??? britney, j lo, david beckham…puhleese.
i love spinach too. i have a lot of dishes that include it. when it’s mixed in it’s a great way to sneak a veggie into the kids. but i like it even when it’s not camoflaged….salads, florentine dishes, etc. unless it’s creamed. creamed spinach is slimy and gross.
and squash, love it. love love love it.
I agree with Skeletor on Favre. Favre is awesome, and what a great competitor. The greatest ever was Joe Montana in my opinion. Favre lost that playoff game last year by falling apart. I don’t know why he does it once in a while, but he is suddenly pedestrian. Then BAM he’s back again. I’m not trying to diminish Favre, but the best ever is a stretch in his case. He might be the best loved, and toughest dude to play the game since Bart Starr, but with thirty seconds to go with no time outs and ninety nine yards to go, my heart skips a beat to see Montana step behind center, and I know it’s going to be alright–Favre? I’m praying not to get picked.
Zombie.. Glad to see you are still watching Packer football.. but I digress on the reason why they will be sitting home watching the playoffs.
Favre helped this Oline along, there is no doubt about it, but that is only half the reason we are losing.
The root issue is the run defense is horrible, allowing teams to control the ball and win the battle of time and field position. That there is the key to losing or winning.. even Brett doesn’t have a cure for that.
Oh spot on with the Bush statements.. they should never be allowed to trend in the house again.. revoke the visitor passes for them as well.
Glad to see the bailout package working so well.. yet the masses of American people are still struggling.. they should have taken the 700 billion an split it among the people.. couldn’t be any worse than seeing AIG take another vacation on us.
Daniel Craig is an awesome Bond! Roger Moore was pants!
Miladysa - Nothing wrong with Daniel Craig. It’s the writing that sucks. It has sucked since the 90s.
Pack - The problem with the Packers seems to be morale. You got players who want to win games like Charles Woodson, Collins, Kampy, Driver, Jennings, etc., then you have players who are going through the motions. It looks to me like a team that has no heart. It’s sickening, because we all know how much talent this team has.
Mike McCarthy is not the coach he was last year. It’s a shame because last year he was a top tier coach. Now he looks like he’s exhausted and demoralized.
Both lines are bad too, and Brett helped cover up problems on the OL.
Scott - Montana was awesome. No doubt about that. But he was in the most perfect timing for the WCO in the history of football. Walsh perfected it before defenses could figure out how to stop it.
If it were one game with nobodies as receivers, nobodies as the RB, and nobodies on the OL, I’d want Brett Favre as my QB.
Lime - I don’t get that. I wouldn’t want to smell like David Beckham. Geez, I could get a lobotomy and still beat his IQ by 50 points.
Creamed spinach is gross. I don’t know why they do that.
Laura - Yes, let’s not test that theory. I don’t even want to give them ideas either.
Kate - Cancer of the wallet indeed, and it’s affecting my 401k, dammit.
Skeletor - Urgh. I hate Pearl Jam. I hate Eddie Vedder and his political correctness. That guy is almost as annoying as Michael Stipe and Bono.
OK, question for you - if you had nobody as a RB, nobody decent on your OL, and no name WRs, which QB would you want playing for you?
And no, haven’t seen that episode yet although since both you and Laura recommend it, I’ll have to see it.
And that list really pissed me off. Yet another reason to hate that stupid rag.
Bridget - Yet another reason why I wouldn’t touch her with a ten-foot pole. I’m sure she’s got half the STDs out there. Yuck. But then again, so do most of those celebrities.
Grunge was a lot better than the genres that followed it. Jerry Cantrell from Alice in Chains is a well-respected guy in the metal community, and Scott Weiland from STP went on to play with the former Guns.
On a final drive to win the game, no one was better than John Elway. He was a cold mo fro when the game was on the line. His team also beat Favre’s team in the Super Bowl. You could say Terrell Davis carried them to victory, but the Packers were heavy favorites and didn’t get it done. Elway went on next year to win another Super Bowl and the Super Bowl MVP, which Favre has never won. He also appeared in three other Super Bowls, but at a time when the NFC had that dominant streak, which was snapped when the Broncos beat the Packers.
In a playoff game, I’d pick Tom Brady, who won three Super Bowls without offensive superstars. When he got Randy Moss, he threw for 50 TD, led his team to a 16-0 record, and threw a TD to put his team up with 2 minutes left in the Super Bowl.
Notice I’ve left out other great QBs who had great players to play with. As a fan who wanted to watch an exciting, unbreakable, Hall-of-Fame QB lead my team for 15 years, I’d pick Favre. But if I were a coach trying to win a Super Bowl, I would pick another quarterback.
My NFL pool is up.
Come by!
Kate - Will do.
Skeletor - Post-grunge is horrible, but post-grunge wouldn’t exist if grunge didn’t exist.
Grunge took pride in being ugly. It was the anti-rock star. Because of grunge, the concept of the rock star became a thing of the past. Who are the rock stars today? There are none. It’s sick. Who’s the last guitar hero? It’s probably Slash and he’s from the 80s. Grunge killed all that.
Rock stars are supposed to have dozens of hot groupies and destroy motel rooms. Nowadays, they’re about as exciting as accountants. You can thank grunge for that.
Montana’s better than Brady, by the way. Brady lost his cool in that Super Bowl.
And Favre had a better Super Bowl than Elway. Davis won the game for the Broncos, not Elway. Elway was absolutely horrible in those other 3 SBs. Horrible. Check his stats. Davis made Elway. Favre’s best RB was Green, and that was after the SB years.
Joe Montana made an impact on KC the year after he was let go in favor of Steve Young. I don’t remember his stats, but that team was far better with him as QB, and they even beat San Francisco that year.
How ’bout Favre last night? I didn’t see the game, but they beat the Patriots. Granted, the Pats were without Brady, but they’ve been winning everything lately. There is no arguing that Favre put the Jets on the map.
Scott - He was incredible. Should have thrown 3 TDs but the WR dropped one in the end zone that was right in his hands on 3rd down and they got a field goal instead.
Montana was quite good on the Chiefs. I’m actually hard pressed calling Favre better than Montana, because Montana was just that good. And so was Steve Young. Those were the top 3 QBs I’ve ever seen.
Tom Brady is hands down the best QB today. He’s much better than Peyton Manning, who is worthless without an OL. Brady can make due with anything, no name WRs, no name OL, etc.
Who are your top 5 quarterbacks of all-time? I thought Marino would be in your top 3.
Marino is possibly the best pure passer I’ve ever seen.
Now, one huge thing here. All time in my book is ‘76 on. It’s not even fair for me to compare Johnny Unitas and Bart Starr to QBs today because I haven’t seen Unitas or Starr play.
So top 5? A good question. In no order - Montana, Young, Favre, Brady, Marino. Brady deserves to be up there. He’s incredible, head and shoulders above Peyton Manning.
Love spinach, but I also really really really like brussel sprouts. Squash, on the other hand, if you’re talking the orange crappy butternut variety, is never ever good. Nasty!
Too true about the Bushes. Another Bush anywhere near the White House will be horrific!
I’m laughing at the Jets and the Packers. Green Bay is going to ticked at the GM for letting Favre go.
Oh yeah, celebrity perfume/scent? Not so much! I just wish people who insist on wearing scent of some time would not wear half the freaking bottle.
Kathleen - The organic stuff we buy is pretty tasteless the way I cook it. I’m not a squash guy so I kind of cook the flavor out of it and it absorbs the other flavors.
Bush has ruined this economy. It’s going to take awhile to recover, and a raise in taxes.
If the Jets go far in the Playoffs and the Packers miss it, you’ll hear some fans calling for the GM’s head.
And like I’ve always said about perfume/cologne, it needs to come with directions. Get out of the shower, put your towel up, spray twice in the air, walk through it forwards, then walk through it backwards. That’s it.