The Zombieslayer

“You’re so lucky you’re slim.”  You know how many times I’ve heard that? If I had a barrel of oil for every time I heard that, I’ll hold that oil until the Summer peak price and then take a year off taking Mrs. Z and Junior around the world on various cruise ships.

I thought I heard every excuse for obesity on the books, but this one may just be the most absurd.  I used to work a Fitness Counselor, and you can imagine the excuses I heard.  It was NEVER anyone’s fault they were overweight.  It was always something else - bad genetics, too busy a schedule, no time to work out, blaming parents for bad dietary habits, can’t afford to buy healthier food, etc.  I’ve had numerous people lie to my face about their eating habits and exaggerate how much exercise they did in their time between workout sessions.

The thing is, they weren’t cheating me.  They were cheating themselves.  But I guess they were too stupid to see that.

This is the thing - I could care less how much anyone weighs.  If they’re cool to me, I like them.  Period.  I just don’t get why someone will pay me money for my advice, then discard my advice and counter with excuses.  Makes no sense whatsoever.

I got tired of that job really fast.  It paid better than my previous job, but I didn’t care.  I hated it.  So I moved on.

Simple physics

Unless you are GOD (or GODDESS for our Pagan friends), you cannot make matter from nothing.  It is not possible.  There is a very simple mathematical formula for either gaining or losing weight.  If you want to gain weight, you eat more calories than you burn off.  If you do that, you will gain weight.  If you want to lose weight, you burn off more calories than you consume.

There is nothing magical about that formula.  It is simple physics.  Yes, people have different metabolic rates.  But even that can be adjusted.  There are ways to speed up or slow down your metabolism.

Are you ready for this?

So, you’re probably wondering when I’m going to get to this absurd excuse.  Here it is.  Boston University conducted a study that shows that there is a tie between racism and obesity.  Yes, there are white people out there who put guns to the heads of black women and force them to eat and physically prevent them from exercising.  The study is here if you want to read it.  I personally got a kick out of the comments.  Apparently, the people commenting are more intelligent than the people wasting BU’s money with this silly study.

Dementia is like cancer. It’s one of those things that will never be cured. It doesn’t help either all the crap we’re putting into our environment.

It is not completely preventable either. We’re living too long. I had a Biologist friend of mine tell me that all men will eventually get prostate cancer if we live long enough. It’s just one of those things.

You can play the odds though. Here are a few tips at preventing dementia:

- Read a lot. Using your mind is your best weapon against dementia.

- Fish oil. Recent studies have shown that fish oil is not only good for heart but people who eat fish/fish oil have lower percentages of dementia.

- Use your fingers. I strongly suggest a musical instrument that uses your fingers a lot. One that you can do warm up exercises and scales too. Guitar, piano, violin, etc., all good instruments to learn to help prevent dementia.

- If you don’t play a musical instrument, do something else to use your fingers like knit, crochet, etc.  You need to use your fingers.

- Have sex a lot. No studies have shown anything that I’m aware of, but I just wanted to say that.

- Don’t eat aluminum. We don’t know if aluminum is a cause of dementia or aluminum retention in the brain is a result. Either way, I don’t want to find out the hard way. Studies have shown that people with both Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s have higher amounts of aluminum in their brains.

- Be physically active. Studies have shown that folks who are more physically active have less chances of getting dementia.

- Turn off the idiot box and live. They don’t call it an idiot box for no reason. I haven’t found the studies to prove it, but I’d be willing to bet that folks who watch more TV are more prone to get dementia than those who don’t.

So why am I writing this? You’re probably thinking that The Zombieslayer is just a Software guy and what does he know about dementia? I’ll tell you why, it’s been one of my biggest fears my whole life. My brain is everything to me. It’s my biggest strength, and I’d hate more than anything to lose it.

So yes, I’ve done my research. Best of luck to everyone. Unfortunately, luck is also involved and you can do everything right but still get dementia. But at least you can increase your chances of not getting it by following these tips.

Well, I’ve been commenting about politics a lot recently, so I won’t this time.

I saw the new Star Trek movie last night with a bunch of friends.  Let me just say as much as the new James Bond movies suck, this new Star Trek movie was good.  Go see it if you get a chance.  I loved it.  If I’m not feeling lazy, I’ll write a review later.

I was working on a post for jokes you can’t tell at work.  They’re racist, sexist, and make fun of just about everyone.  These were the jokes I grew up with before political correctness and you know what? A lot of them hit one of my races and/or ethnicities.  But so what? They’re funny.

I never got offended as a kid.  I was one of those people who was always laughing (and usually in trouble with teachers).  Maybe it was because I excelled in sports.  I never had to prove anything.

I think if you look behind someone who gets offended easily, you see someone who:

1) led a sheltered life,

2) sucked at everything so is pissed off at the world

It’s usually one of those things.  People who get offended easily are lame, and definitely not fun to hang around with.  I don’t like hanging with people when you feel like you have to walk on egg shells around them.

If there’s one thing I wish for everyone who reads this blog, it’s good health. Health is the most important thing in the world. If you have your health, you can do anything. If you don’t, you’re a burden on your loved ones. As cold as that sounds, it’s true.

I’m not going to lie and say I’m the resident expert in health. I sin a lot. I sometimes eat complete crap. But I walk everywhere. I rarely drive. I love living downtown so I can simply walk to the supermarket, to the drug store, to any restaurant I’m in the mood for, to the movie theater, to the coffee places/internet cafes, and to the local bars.

Walking rules. Walking gives me time to think. At work, I bug people to walk with me and you should see how much better off the people who walk regularly are. You can get the crap off your chest while you walk, and it’s such a stress reliever. I encourage everyone to walk more. It’s one of the best things you can do.

I’m pretty messed up physically. Walking is low impact, so I can walk for miles and not tweak my back or my knees. I never run. Yet, I’m in better shape than most people my age.

I still can do 20 chin ups. I do crunchies and push ups when I remember, but walking is my primary exercise and I feel like it is enough. My body fat is around 10% which is exactly where I want it. I’m no longer an athlete so have no reason to be at 5-7%. I also don’t have bulging muscles any more. No reason to. For me, excess muscle is just excess weight and it takes so much work to keep it. I don’t think it’s worth it, unless you got a shot of really making it as an athlete.

Anyways, that’s my little advice for the day - walk as much as you can. Just watch out for idiots who make right turns but don’t watch for pedestrians.

Let’s just say I get a 12-month contract job for a Software company in Costa Rica.  Within six months, I will guarantee you that I will speak Spanish fluently, have one or two favorite bars, play the popular sport (which I assume is soccer) and know at least five or six regular players, know good beaches on both the Pacific and Caribbean side of Costa Rica, know the best three or four restaurants in town, know a local farmer on a first name basis, know a dentist, a chiropractor, and a masseuse.

All the bartenders in those one or two bars will call me by my first name.  So will the waiters or waitresses in those restaurants.  So will the checkers in the local supermarket.  I will be able to give you directions to all those places, plus will be able to tell you where the post office is, where the larger banks are, where the department stores are, etc.

Now, I don’t expect everyone to immerse themselves as much as I do.  I’m blessed with gift of gab and know my social skills are much better than the average Joe or Jane.  But I do expect people when coming from one country into another to learn the language.  Anyone who refuses to learn the language spoken in their new country is an idiot and should be deported.

Just to make it clear

I do not think that at home, you should be forced to speak a language.  That’s your own personal choice.  But it would make sense to practice it as much as you can.  You want to be able to communicate with native speakers.  If you can’t, you shouldn’t be there except for vacational purposes.

In America, studies have shown that Hispanic folks who speak English make considerably more money than those who don’t.  Imagine that.

Do as the Asians do

I had Asian friends in high school.  One friend, I’ll call him Chang, was told by his father that if he got a C on his report card, don’t bother coming home.  Chang’s father was serious.  He meant it.  So Chang got all As and Bs.  Always.

They learned English fast.  I remember meeting Chang in 7th grade.  He had been there a year.  By 9th grade, his English was pretty dang good.  Funny thing is he still had problems with the concept of plurals, but other than that, he pretty much looked and acted like an American.

I also remember how proud Chang and his family members were when one by one, they became officially Americans.  They voted in every election and had a lot of civic pride.  More power to them.

You’d think this would all be common sense, but apparently it’s not.  There are those in the Hispanic communities that want Americans to cater to them, to have Spanish only classes, and refuse to become Americanized.  I’m calling a spade a spade.  Those people are idiots.

Best blog post of the week

On an entirely different topic, I need to start doing this again.  On my original blog, I used to link to other blog posts that I liked.  I’ll start it up again, and try not to go more than a week without a blog post.

Neal’s post called “There is No Quick Fix” is excellent.  Give it a read if  you have a few extra minutes.

By the way, if anyone knows a Software company in Costa Rica that is hiring and pays well, let me know. I have a friend of mine who just got back and showed me pics. Dang, I’d love to work there for a year.

One of my Left-wing pinko commie friends and I the other day were talking to a mutual friend of ours who happened to be a Lesbian.  Well, “Harry” started going off on Christianity, like it was the most homophobic religion in the world.  I quickly corrected him and showed him how much of an ass monkey he was.

If anything, Christianity is pretty dang tolerant comparatively.  No, not perfect, but compared to all the other major religions, it’s pretty tolerant.

Let’s put things in perspective.  In India, the most overpopulated place on the planet Earth,  where homosexuality was punishable by DEATH.  Yes, DEATH.  I don’t think it still is, but it was.  For the record, Hinduism is VERY homophobic.

So in California, gay marriage was legal and now it’s illegal again.  Hey, I’m all for gay marriage because you know me, I do not believe ANYONE should tell another adult what to do, especially the government.

But making marriage illegal and killing you are on two entirely different ballparks.  I don’t even think I need to bring up Islam and homosexuality.

So after bringing this up, I flat out brought the question - which major religion is more tolerant than Christianity in regards to homosexuality? Silence.

Exactly.

And there’s more

Not only that, walking distance from Harry’s house is a Methodist church with a rainbow flag on it.  Yes, I’m not making this up.

I had a friend of mine who was an openly gay Priest.

Find that in another major religion.  (For the record, Judaism is pretty split on homosexuality.  There are those very much against it and those who are hands off).

Even among Christians who are opposed to homosexuality, the attitude is “love the sinner, hate the sin.”  So you rarely find the extremes.  Yes, there are the Fred Phelps out there, but he’s a loud, obnoxious jerk who the media loves and is a tiny outspoken minority.  Let’s be real here.

With Hinduism, the majority are homophobic, at the very least uncomfortable with homosexuality.  For in Hinduism, the role of marriage is to breed (which is just about the only thing they’re good at besides stretching).

So why do I even bring this up?

Because I hate misinformation.  And political correctness.  Let’s call a spade a spade.  Sure, Christians aren’t perfect.  But compared to every other major religion out there, Christians are the most tolerant.  Be glad you live in a country with a Christian majority.