My fantasy
September 10th, 2009So…
Something this morning realized what my ultimate fantasy would be. No, it’s not a three-way between me, Salma Hayek, and Monica Bellucci. No, it’s not winning the lottery. No, it’s not the Packers winning the Super Bowl every year from here until eternity.
It’s simply when I call a company, a HUMAN picks up the freaking phone. And that human speaks English, without an accent.
That’s it. That’s my fantasy.
I think it would be easier to fantasize about winning the lottery or having a three-way with Salma Hayek and Monica Bellucci. At least those can possibly come true.
lol.. i find it a *tinsy* bit hillarious that your three way can have accents, but not telephone personel
Oh, I like girls with accents, don’t get me wrong.
But when I’m on the phone with a corporation, I’m more often than not conducting business and want to understand what they’re saying.
AMEN!
I think we’d have a better chance of winning the lottery than this fantasy coming true.
I would also faint dead away if my problem was EVER on the menu they provide on the automated service!
If there’s one person who deserves to be tortured in Hell for all eternity, it’s the person who invented telephone menus.
Tell me about it. Not literally.. LOL.. I hate making phone calls when you have to go to like ten different options before getting where you want to be. Or talking to the dang computer and instead of pushing buttons. AT&T is horrible for that one. You talk into the phone instead of pushing 1 for such and such. You say talk to a representative.. Yikes…
Define accent? Someone from Alabama could answer the phone…
it happened to me once. mac tech support when my ancient imac went on the fritz. i spent an hour and a half on the phone with a pleasant native english speaking female tech while she tired to help me get my porr dying machine to work. when it finally gave up the ghost she told me where the nearest dealer waas so i could get my still warrantied machine fixed. aside from the awful reason why i had to call in the first place it was really very nice. she was helpful, patient, knowledgable, pleasant. couldn’t have asked for a better person to deal with.
Do you mean to say we aliens are not the only ones who find it problematic in speaking to humans ?
Oh Good. I thought it was just me.
How about a threeway while talking to an unaccented English tech support person on the phone? Nah, never mind. That would just be weird.
To give you even less hope that your fantasy will come true: A friend just found out that her maternity leave will be permanent, ’cause her entire billing department has been transplanted to Singapore.
I will have to agree. I wouldn’t mind the accent if they knew what they were doing, but they don’t.
When I lived in SF, I had a gift certificate to the mall in the four buildings on Sacramento that all look alike (yeah, can’t remember the name of the damn mall). Anyway, I wanted to buy a British motorsports magazine with my GC, but the guy who worked the counter at the magazine stand didn’t speak English at all. I would have totally accepted an accent, but this guy could barely speak a word and didn’t have a clue what the GC was and wouldn’t let me use it. I was pissed (British motorsports magazines are close to $10) and said to my ‘friend,’ “I think if you choose to come to this country and get a job where you interact with customers you should learn the language.” She called me John Rocker for saying that. Then I really got pissed.
As for accents, the only native English people I can’t understand are Scots. Can’t understand one word they’re saying. God damn crack smoking Scottish people.
And I hate New Jersey accents. They’re the epitome of unsexy. Alabama accents are fine.
And Kathleen, I would have been pissed too. Like I’ve said before, if I get a job in another country, damn straight I’ll be speaking that language fluently.
Zombie,
Sorry I haven’t visited in awhile…been awful busy.
You know, if you contact one of those customer services places and get a foreigner, you can demand to speak to an English speaking person and they are required to transfer your call. That is if the company is an American one that is outsourcing their customer support.
At least that is what I have been told by people I trust.