The Zombieslayer

The Zombieslayer
Do not buy shit from people who have nuclear weapons pointed at you

Merry Christmas!

December 7th, 2009

I do this post almost every year.  Just word it differently.

Merry Christmas! To those who get offended by that, tough.  Look, Christmas isn’t even a Christian holiday.  It’s Pagan.  There’s a 1/365.25 chance that Jesus was born on Christmas day.  The only thing Christian about Christmas is the name.  The rest, Christians stole from various Pagan traditions, if I’m not mistaken, mostly Yuletide.

I went Christmas caroling Saturday night.  Had a blast.  I LOVE Christmas parties.  Tons of food.  Egg nog.  Adult apple cider.  How can you not love it?

Now, the folks who want to ban Christmas are often atheists, and a minority at that.  If I’m not mistaken, the majority of atheists in this country celebrate Christmas as well because it’s fun.  It’s a fun tradition, and a tradition that should continue for at least another one hundred years.

If you get offended, then start your own freaking holiday.  Geez, Louise.  Get a life.  If you manage to start your own holiday and have fun parties, then by all means, invite me over.

The problem is some folks just like to ruin fun for everyone else.  Screw them.  Enjoy this holiday, no matter what religion or lack of religion you have.  And if you throw a fun party, I don’t care what it’s about.  Invite me over.

14 Responses to “Merry Christmas!”

  1. comment number 1 by: Xmichra

    You are more than welcome to attend Giftmas at the house of X :)

    O’Giftmas tree, O’Giftmas tree!!
    no?

    We wish you a Merry Giftmas! We wish you a Merry Giftmas, we wish you a Merry Giftmas, and a six pack o’beer!

    still no??

    Rockin around, the Giftmas tree, have a happy holiday!

    See. it’s totally a seasonal thing.

    MERRY GIFTMAS!!!

  2. comment number 2 by: The Zombieslayer

    Exactly.

    Now, how is that offensive?

  3. comment number 3 by: Laura

    I was watching the History channel a few years ago and they run a “History of Christmas” episode every year - watch out for it. Basically, the American celebration of Christmas, with santa, gifts, caroling, and trees didn’t start out as a RELIGIOUS holiday anyway and didn’t have anything to do with Jesus or church. It was meant to fill a spot on the national calendar that, so far, had NO holidays on it and was meant as a fun gathering time. The super-religious part of it came later. So, actually, the people who are “Hijacking” the true meaning of Christmas in America are the thumpers who don’t want anyone to have any fun!!!

  4. comment number 4 by: Laura

    here’s a clip of it: http://www.history.com/video.do?name=christmas&bcpid=2651893001&bclid=1675979322&bctid=1586348684 It’s very interesting.

  5. comment number 5 by: klaatu

    Didn’t Christians steal the whole monotheist religion thing from the Zoastrians? and doesn’t every religion steal from one before it and change it just enough to be different?
    The Athiests are free to go in to work on Dec. 25 if they don’t like Christmas. ( not for double time either.)

  6. comment number 6 by: Skeletor Sambora

    Did “happy holidays” ever refer to the length of the vacation or was it always used so the no-funners wouldn’t cry? How did the no-funners get so much power anyway. If anyone ever meets one, you should humiliate them publicly.

  7. comment number 7 by: The Zombieslayer

    Laura - Nice. That filled in a lot of blanks I didn’t know about.

    Klaatu - Not sure who the first monotheists were. Some Egyptian pharaoh was, but he got labeled a heretic and they destroyed his shit.

    Skeletor - I think we should shoot them.

  8. comment number 8 by: Skeletor Sambora

    Ideally, they’d be shot or beaten to a bloody pulp. Realistically, they should be riduculed so badly that they’d never try to take the fun out of anything ever again.

  9. comment number 9 by: tweetey30

    merrry x-mas my friend. hopefully its better than minee. i broke my foot today..

  10. comment number 10 by: lime

    well, you’d like trinidad. christians, hindus, muslims…. they all celebrate each other’s holidays all year.

  11. comment number 11 by: The Zombieslayer

    Skeletor - Yeah. You know how I feel about killjoys.

    Tweetey - That majorly sucks. Sorry to hear that. :(

    Lime - That would be awesome. The thing is, I think I would like Trinidad from the way you describe it.

  12. comment number 12 by: Granny Annie

    Love this post. Amen and Amen! Happy ZombieMas to you Z. Will that holiday require a tree or a pole?

  13. comment number 13 by: clothosfate

    Merry Christmas!! Happy Solstice!! Happy Hanukkah!! Jolly Yuletide!! Yay!! I love this time of year!! Love the lights, the decorations, the tree, the old Christmas cartoons and movies.. I love to make yummy treats, and have friends over for Christmas cheer on Christmas eve, if you lived closer you’d be invited… hell, your invited anyway!!
    The winter solstice means that the days will be growing longer, Christmas gives us all an excuse to be generous, and loving and grateful for all the love we have been fortunate to have.
    I say fuck em if they don’t know how to have fun and lets rock the halls with peels of laughter HA HA HA HA HAAA… HA HA HA HA!!!

  14. comment number 14 by: Courtney

    I would actually suspect that the majority of people who are offended by Christmas are people of other religions. I celebrate Christmas, and I’ve never met or spoken to another atheist who doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Even Richard Dawkins celebrates. I’m sure there are some anti-Christmas atheists, but please, don’t blame us. We’re well aware that Christmas is no more a Christian holiday than I am a fairy princess. :P

    By the way, the monotheist pharaoh was Amenhotep IV, AKA, Akenaten. He is possibly the father of Tutankhamen.

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