Why chocolates are better than flowers
December 18th, 2009I was just on Lime’s blog and decided to do a write-up of what I told Lime. Since my last two posts were political, here’s a little story that isn’t.
Last night, Mrs. Z was having a horrible day. So she, my real estate agent, and I went down to the local bar we all used to hang out awhile back. Haven’t been there in months.
Now, they got a new bartender - a woman. And a dang good-looking one at that.
Which sometimes worries me. Good looking people, both men and women, tend to be shallow. I know that sounds like a jerk for me to say it but it’s true. I’ve always said that if you’re really good looking, you don’t have to have a personality. People will like you regardless. There are exceptions of course, but this generally holds true.
So to my surprise, she turned out to be really cool. Needless to say, we started talking. For those who know me in person, you’ll know that if I like you as a person, I won’t shut up. I can talk for days about anything. Politics, humor, pop culture, art, sports, whatever. I like to talk.
We started talking about college, then music, then it went to the subject of chocolates versus flowers. We all agreed that if you’re a man, and you piss off a woman, give her a box of chocolates. You can get her so angry that if you got her flowers, she’d just take those flowers and throw them.
A woman would never do that to a box of chocolates.
Not where I expected the story to be going, but funny enough. I actually prefer things other than flowers just because flowers are a pain in the ass. I always forget about them, then the water evaporates, they wilt, and then they start to rot in the vase and by the time I get around to cleaning them up, I’ve got moldy stems, a dirty vase, and petals and leaves all over the floor… Never buy me anything that has foliage. If it’s not already dead, I’ll kill it. If it is already dead (flowers) it will just go to waste.
you guys are so right… i’d never toss chocolates! lol…
Chocolate has been my drug of choice this year. It got me through a lot of rough times. ;p
I kept changing up boyfriends in grade school for better presents. My last fellow gave me a huge box of chocolates. My mother had a fit and lectured me about the evils of greed — while she was eating my chocolate candy!
Good stuff.
That is a very thought provoking Blog Post.
Chocolates Or Flowers.
I use to give my dearly departed Mother a box of those liquor filled chocolates every Christmas until I realized it was not a good idea.
Mom loved Chocolate and Liquor.
Mom would wake up the next day with a horrible hang over and a big Zit on her fore head.
Ladies.. Hang the flowers “Upside Down” for a month. You will not lose a single petal, they will not wilt, they will dry out in a perfect shape, and especially if they are ROSES the thorns will harden.
If he tells you he is leaving you. Take those Harden Thorns, and shove them up his ass in a precise, calculated, Marine Corps manner.
If you get married, you can put those flowers in a dry vase and they will last for ever. Just spray them with “Hair Spray” so the flowers will not fall apart.
Either way… It is a win/win.
Chocolates on the other hand will give you a zit.
And a Hang Over if they are filled with alcohol.
RP - I’d take zits for chocolate with liquor. Sounds like a fair trade. And I’m not even a woman. They like chocolate on a whole different level.
Annie -
Tshsmom - And a rough year you had.
Thank God for chocolates.
Xmichra - Awesome. So I was right for once.
Laura - And they make my wife sneeze.
just make sure they aren’t coconut filled chocolates. those i would lob at high velocity
Ok my only question to this is what did Mrs Z think of that convesation and would she appreciate a male boss bringing back chocolates to he if he pissed her off???? I dont think you would appreciate them all that well….
Lime - I’ll keep that in mind.
Tweetey - Mrs. Z agreed. She’s allergic to flowers anyways.
A boss is different. We were talking more in the context of a lover. A boss bringing really nice chocolates would be probably crossing the line of decency.