The Zombieslayer

I was just thinking of what I won’t eat. I’m not talking about gross out competitions, but real food that you can buy at a market somewhere in the world.

brains - very bitter, yuck! Tried pig brains once at a Filipino party. Just take my word for it, brains don’t taste good.

jellyfish - was at a Chinese restaurant with my older brother and we ordered jellyfish just to try. They actually were kind of sweet, but took forever to chew, like chewing on a tire. Next time, I’ll pass.

gonads - I don’t care if they taste good or not, I’m not eating the gonads of an animal.

sea cucumber - I was at a Vietnamese wedding and they had sea cucumber as an appetizer. The rest of the food was delicious and there were some hot Vietnamese babes dancing. However, sea cucumber is horrible.

eyeballs (except for fish eyeballs which are quite good) - I don’t want to eat something that is looking at me.

liver - I hate the taste of liver. I know a lot of Germans swear by it and try to convince me to try their liver, but I kindly refuse. Maybe if I’m intoxicated enough and they have heavy gravy smeared on it, I might try it.

earthworms are gross. They were another thing at a Chinese restaurant just to try. Now that that’s out of the way, I won’t ever do that again.

human, monkey, dolphin, whale, or dog. I refuse to eat these out of sheer principle. Other than that, I’ll probably eat it.

You’re probably wondering about the human reference. One of my friends was an anthropologist studying stone age tribes and he actually lived with some for sometimes up to six months. One of the tribes he lived with practiced ritual cannibalism, i.e., eating of their dead relatives to have their bodies join with theirs, literally. No, nobody died when he was living with them, so he never ate human meat.

Humans in my lifetime were eaten in parts of Africa, and during famine in China during WWII, some ate the dead because there was nothing else to eat. I actually know someone’s grandmother who did it for survival purposes. Not at all singling out the Chinese, Americans have eaten human flesh for survival purposes (the Donner Party, for example), and that one soccer team (I think they were Chilean or Argentinian) in the Andes when their plane crashed.

Also, during the Cultural Revolution in China, 270 people were known to have been killed and eaten as enemies of the state. Well, that’s just communism for you. Communists do strange things like that.

Monkeys are eaten to this day in Africa and some parts of Asia. Dogs in many parts of Asia. Dolphins are slaughtered and eaten in some parts of Japan. Screw cultural relativity, this is WRONG. Dolphins shouldn’t be eaten by people. Screw cultural tolerance.

UPDATE - I told Badman about this post, so he sent me an email from that he won’t eat tripe, bile, or beef tongue. I happen to like tripe in Vietnamese Pho. Bile is ok, not something I like, but if done right, I’ll eat it to be polite. I love beef tongue, only having it once at a Jewish restaurant in L.A. I’d definitely have it again.

I am blessed. By my house, we have six supermarkets that carry milk free from rBGH (recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone). Both Safeway’s and Trader Joe’s milk is 100% free from rBGH, as are Whole Foods and stores that carry certified Organic milk. Even Target has it, but the one by our house sells two milk products, one that may or may not have it, and one that is stamped that it doesn’t have it.

What is rBGH, you may ask? The Monsanto Corporation invented an artificial type of Bovine Growth Hormone that they market to farmers as POSILAC®. The drug successfully increases milk production by 10%. Sounds good, right? 10% more milk = more profits. The thing is, they have to include a stamp on their product that there’s a side effect - an increase in clinical mastisis for the cows. In addition, other studies have found a dramatic increase in lameness.

Now Monsanto wants you to believe there’s no health problems associated with you drinking the milk and getting health problems. The only thing they’ve found are some people are sensitive to milk that has it.

Like Mrs. Z for instance. She used to throw up when she drank milk, and she was under the impression she was allergic to milk. One day, I bought her Organic milk, and she not only held it down, she loved it. Years later, I bought her non-Organic milk that did not have rGBH. She held it down too, and now she enjoys a glass of milk daily plus milk with her morning cereal.

Is rGBH bad for you if you’re not sensitive to it? Who knows? POSILAC® is currently banned in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and every country in the EU. Weird, huh?

It’s legal in America though, where the Monsanto Corporation has a strong lobby. When Oakhurst Dairy put a label on their milk that stated they pledged their milk was free from Artificial Growth Hormone, Monsanto Corporation sued them. Coincidently, a few scientists felt pressured when they researched the affects of rGBH on humans. If you want to read more, read this:

Disturbing, huh?

Well, I’m not going to tell you what kind of milk to buy. All I’m saying is this family does not buy milk with rGBH. If you’d prefer not to as well, and if you live in America, buy your milk from Trader Joe’s, Safeway, Whole Foods, or buy it specifically labeled Organic. Also Chipotle Mexican Grill’s sour cream is free from rGBH. Other stores often sell it, but you have to look on the milk itself and look for a label that says specifically that it does not contain rGBH. If you know of any others, please let me know.

I know what I like. You can agree, disagree, or whatever. I’d love to hear it. Here’s the skinny on various cuisines…

Chinese - Was exotic two decades ago, but now that Americans have exposure to better Asian cuisines, it’s losing its appeal. Most Chinese food is crap, although there was a dang good one in Pasadena, California I used to frequent.

California Fusion - The future. Some are crap, some are decent, but the better ones are making some serious money.

Japanese - Splitting into 2: sushi - Mrs. Z’s fav food and one of mine. Everything else - the art of simplicity. Love it.

French - Overrated and overpriced. However, French make some of the world’s best desserts.

Ethiopian - Looks like dysentery and tastes like dirt. One exception - a place in Austin, Texas is absolutely delicious. Wish I remembered the name.

Thai - Was better a decade ago before everyone started doing it. The authentic Thai food is much better, the stuff that hasn’t been Americanized. One warning, if you see Chinese working there, it’s probably not authentic. Plus, the Chinese have none of the grace and warmth of the Thais.

Vietnamese - I don’t care what anyone says, Pho has healing powers. I’ve had both horrible flus and hangovers and Pho heals them both. Love those spring rolls and those fruity drinks with the pearls as well.  Best Pho I’ve ever had was Saigon City in Bellevue, Washington.  Gorgeous waitresses too.

Southern cuisine - Love it, but refuse to have a steady diet of it. If you eat Southern food your whole life, don’t be surprised if you’re 50 pounds overweight in your 30s, have your first heart attack or stroke in your 40s, and die in your 50s.

Cajun - Love the shrimp and crawdads. Gumbo’s good if you’re sick, and jambalaya is okay. People brag endlessly about Cajun food and I like it, but won’t put it in my favs list.

English food - If you look up oxymoron in the dictionary, they use English food as an example of an oxymoron.

Italian food - I love Italian food as much as I love hot Italian actresses. The trick is to weed out the good from the mediocre. Good Italian food I could have on a daily basis and not get sick of it.

Spanish food - The forgotten Mediterranean cuisine. It’s actually not bad, but it’s not as good as Italian.

Greek food - It’s fast. It’s fun. Not one of my favs though.

Indian food - Mushy yuck yuck. I guess it’s good for people who have no teeth. One exception - Kennedy’s in San Francisco, an Irish pub with Indian food. It’s absolutely awesome. But most Indian food is horrible.

Mongolian food - Not sure how authentic Mongolian bar-be-que places are, but if I want a lot of food for cheap, I’ll go to one. The reason I’ve never been kicked out of them is because I tip well. I’ve been back for fourths before.

German food - As French is the most overrated, German is the most underrated. Goes great with good beer and good company. You might even find yourself singing. Sober, it’s kind of on the bland side though.

Moroccan food - I remember liking it, but it’s more the experience. If they don’t have a belly dancer, I won’t go. Nothing like belly dancing right after your multi-course meal.

Mexican food - Like Southern food, it’s good, but it will kill you. Not one of my favs, but I’ll hit happy hour with friends, drink a margarita or two, and enjoy some fine food. One hole in the wall in Martinez, California stands out. Have their soup. It’s not only delicious, but you’ll be able to breathe after eating it, no matter how bad your allergies are.

Czech - I remember liking it, but I think I’ve only had it once or twice. Not great food though.

Korean Bar-Be-Que - Been to one restaurant in Oxnard, California. This is good food. I love KimChi too.

Dim Sum - I’m keeping this separate from Chinese because I actually enjoy Dim Sum.  Best I’ve ever had was in Seattle.

Russian food - One of the good things about vodka is it makes you forget just how bad the food was.

The other day, I went to Kinder’s Custom Meats (in Martinez, California) and picked up some buffalo steaks.  Behind the counter, a cute blonde covered in blood took our order, disappeared for a minute in the freezer, and returned with a package of buffalo steaks.  I’ve always found it sexy to see a good-looking woman in a typically man’s profession, so bonus points to her for wearing an apron with blood on it.

Kinder’s has a delicious bottled marinade that we used to marinade the meat.  They keep the buffalo meat frozen, so we picked up a bottle of their marinade, tossed some in a plastic freezer bag, shook it up, and thawed out the meat.

I boiled some potatoes with garlic, black pepper, and thyme, then mashed them up with melted butter and milk.  The gravy I just made with chicken bullion cubes and flour.

For the salad, picked up some organic mixed greens.  I tossed it with extra virgin olive oil, about a tablespoon of sweet and sour sauce, some shredded Mexican cheese, and golden raisins.

When the meat thawed out, my landlord threw the steaks on the grill and took them off medium rare.  You’re not supposed to overcook buffalo.

The flavor - not gamey at all.  You’d be surprised.  The thing is it’s less marbled than steak, which will disappoint a lot of steak lovers, but won’t take years off your life.  It’s not tough at all though.  The taste of the meat itself I think is better than beef, you just have less marbling.

The price is a major downside though - almost $17 a pound for ribeye buffalo steaks.  Junior missed out for he stayed the night at his friend’s house, but both Mrs. Z and my landlord enjoyed their steaks.  It’s something we’d do a lot more often if it weren’t for the price.  When I get rich, I’ll eat more buffalo, but I’m not quite there yet.

If any of you try it, definitely let me know.  Like I said in that earlier post, it’s much more healthy than beef and as long as ranchers continue to hunt it with rifles instead of herding it like cattle, buffalo meat will not only stay that way but be much better for the environment.

You don’t need pesticides with buffalo and their hoofs are good for the soil, encouraging native grass growth.  I’d love to see buffalo back on the plains without barbed wire fences everywhere.  We’d see a huge decline in obesity in this country as well as have cleaner rivers and less birth defects.  But that’s yet another post.  As for now, I just wanted to say buffalo steaks taste just as good, or if not better, than beef steaks.  They’re just expensive.