The Zombieslayer

The Zombieslayer
Land of the Free, not land of the safe

Injuns and guns

November 24th, 2007

“Jonas” is a very intelligent man. He’s well-read, cultured, is a top-notch teacher, and has a wonderful sense of humor. Unfortunately, he has an irrational fear of firearms, a common side effect of being white, suburban, and middle class.

Jonas’ irrational fear of firearms has led more than once to arguments between he and I, and because of his irrationality, most of the stupidity has come from his side of the argument.

One such offense is one day, he spat out how could I love guns so much considering how pro-Native American I am. I quickly corrected him and exposed the absurdity of that statement.

Jonas and I are both historians. Jonas should know better. It wasn’t guns that lost the Americans to the white settlers. It was numbers, and more importantly, disease.

We will never know the numbers of Native Americans killed by European diseases, mainly smallpox. Smallpox raced ahead of white settlers. Keep in mind, Native peoples traded heavily among other tribes and peoples, carrying the diseases further. All we have now are estimates, and many estimates are saying that in some of the hardest hit areas, over 90% of the populations were killed by smallpox before white settlers even built permanent settlements. Some estimates even put the smallpox epidemic in the New World as bigger than the Black Death of the 14th Century, which killed 2/3rds of Europe.

Back to firearms, by the time of the mid-1700s, Native Americans had firearms, because the English, the French, and the Dutch were all fighting each other at various times and disposing muskets and ammo to their respective Native allies. If you read history, battle by battle, the whites didn’t always win, and often lost. Sometimes, the whites got absolutely slaughtered.

The Natives were bad ass warriors, and could cover ground much better than the whites. They lost because of numbers. By 1790, there were already four million Americans. That number grew steadily, and with a fast population growth, Americans continued moving West, displacing Native peoples.

That statement about firearms and Native Americans is an insult to these brave warriors, who to this day, military historians still study their tactics. I also do some Apache workout tricks, like sprint up hills with water in my mouth. Do that once a week and you’ll have stronger lungs than a swimmer.

In the 20th century and beyond, Native Americans have served this country wonderfully in our armed forces. I can’t say enough good about how brave these men and women are, and Jonas’ crap was a low blow.

If you’re curious and you want to read more about bad ass Native Americans, pick up histories of Geronimo, Tecumseh, Captain Jack (if I’m not mistaken, the only time an American General was killed in battle), Sitting Bull, or Blue Jacket. There are plenty of others, those are just some names I thought of off the top of my head.

A Democrat joke

July 17th, 2007

I’ve been Bush bashing a lot recently, so I thought this would be appropriate. So to make things fair, I think I’d publish a good joke at the Democrats’ expense.

My buddy sent this to me recently, but it was an updated version. I’m going to change it back to the original version I heard years ago.

Subject: Are you a Democrat or a Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your spouse and two small children. Suddenly, a psycho with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

……………………………………………………..

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

……………………………………………………

For the record, I’m neither a Democrat nor Republican, but I would have shot twice in the chest and once in the face, especially considering it’s a .40 caliber.

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