The Zombieslayer

The Zombieslayer
Riding a bike without a helmet for over 30 years

Miss South Carolina was trying to be politically correct

August 31st, 2007

You’ve probably already seen the video. If not, I’ll include it down below.

To make a long story short, Miss South Carolina was asked how come one fifth of all Americans can’t find the U.S. on a map. What she should have said is anyone her age or older who can’t find our own country on the map is a fucking idiot. Unfortunately, because of political correctness, she couldn’t say that. So she froze. And she came up with a real retarded answer.

Poor girl. She has my sympathies. This is what happens when political correctness takes over. You have to watch what you say, and you end up sounding like a jackass.

I got an idea how to solve the problem. Solve it at the source. At the age of 18, anyone who can’t find the U.S. on a map gets sterilized. No and, if, or buts. There. In one generation, problem solved.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, watch this video.

Oh Canadians!

July 2nd, 2007

Did you hear the big news? Over 60% of Canadians would fail the immigration test immigrants have to become citizens. So, yours truly got a hold of that test and will try to answer the questions. Results below.

How many territories/provinces does Canada have? Well, isn’t Canada the 51st state? Or is that Puerto Rico? Just kidding. Eight.

Name them. Um. Let’s see…
British Columbia, Yukon, the Northwest Territories, Quebec, that one that contains Newfoundland, Bob, Jim, Sarah, and Becky

Who is the Head of State? Ha! I know this. It’s a trick question, but I know this one. Queen Elizabeth II. Eat that, Canadian test makers!

What is the National Bird? The mosquito? Or is that Minnesota’s national bird? Well, Minnesota, Canada, same thing. Big, cold places with lots of ice and lousy football teams.

What is Canada’s biggest export? Maple syrup and mediocre singers (Bryan Adams, Alannis More Upset, and Celine Dion. Please, take them back!)

What is Canada’s favorite past-time? Driving zambonis and shoveling snow.

What is the capital of Canada? Well, it’s not Vancouver. Montreal?

Who was the first Prime Minster of Canada? Sir John Macdonald. Ha! I knew this one too.

macdonald.jpg

What industry employs the most Canadians? Hockey? I was just kidding. I’d have to say people who keep peace between English and French speakers.

OK, Canadians. You can grade my test and see if I can be a Canadian citizen. Actually, you can’t grade my test because you probably failed it too. ;)
Happy belated Canada Day!

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