The Zombieslayer

I hate the Lakers. I hate the Dodgers too, but I really hate the Lakers. In fact, I hate the Lakers so much that my favorite team is anyone playing the Lakers. No, I don’t follow basketball. I just hate the Lakers.

Have you ever noticed that whenever a ref calls a foul on the Lakers, they always show Jack Nickelson’s expression? I’m tired of seeing that. I don’t care how cool Jack might be, he’s not coming into my anti-zombie compound until he renounces his love the Lakers!

“Zombieslayer! Please! They’re coming!”

“You know the password, Jack.”

“Lakers suck!”

“I can’t hear you.”

“Lakers suck!”

“Ok, Spencer, let Jack in.”

I had a little “discussion” with fellow pretentious critic Badman yesterday. We were calling dibs on hot famous women. He went to see The Birthday Massacre last night in San Francisco.

No, I didn’t go. You know why I didn’t go? Tickets were $22.50 (not including the Evil Empire’s, I mean Ticketmaster’s inconvenience fee) and they weren’t even the headlining band. Some other band I never heard of was headlining, so I’m not spending $30 to see my dear Chibi for only a 35-40 minute set.

Still, I got dibs on Chibi. Yes, she’s much cuter in real life than this shot:

So when the plague starts, I got dibs on Chibi, Christina Ricci, and Monica Bellucci. He did get dibs on Keira Knightley which greatly pissed me off. I got Salma Hayek too, but I haven’t told him that yet. I hope that ruins his day.

Who do you got dibs on? Remember, you better do it now. The zombie plague starts a lot sooner than you realize.

Speaking of the zombie plague, some Democrats in the California Assembly are trying to get a $25 tax each time you buy ammo passed. So, they’re showing their true colors. They only want the rich to survive the zombie plague. Told you that you can’t trust them.

It’s a sad day for the Green Bay Packers and the NFL.  The NFL lost the best QB of the post-Niner domination era, and both the most exciting QB and the toughest to ever play the game.

Several people I know are going to call in sick.  I’m not going to.  I’m not going to sit around the house and sulk.  I got a lot of work to do at work and doing work will help me keep my mind off of it, but I’ll be avoiding people all day.

It won’t be easy for me to deal with this.  Funny thing is I’ve had some bad breakups, but this is worse.  I was convinced that he’d come back and I was saving up for a trip to Green Bay this year.

I decided instead to use that money for musical equipment.  I want to get a recording done while I’m still relatively young.

As for the Packers, I’m hoping the Cal kid Aaron Rodgers can pull it off.  As for Favre, I hope he enjoys his retirement, but I have a feeling he’ll be itching to play and might come back for another team in ‘09.  I sincerely hope he does, and that team will be instantly my 2nd favorite team.

Congratulations to the Giants.  I knew they were going to win, and made a small bet that they’d cover the spread.  The thing is, I didn’t need those 13 points.  The Giants played a great game and Coughlin, the Giants coach, simply outcoached the Patriot coach.  He had some defensive tricks that wiped out the greatest offense in the history of the NFL.  He played it like a chess game, and won.

Speaking of well-done, I purchased two afghans from Tweety last month.  Let me tell you honestly - they are really good quality, and pretty too.  You could tell Tweety puts a lot of effort in them.  Right now, Mrs. Z is reading a book under the bigger one.  She chose the colors, which is a good thing because I’m partially color blind.  As a child, I thought the colors of the stoplight were red, yellow, and blue until I learned that that’s green, not blue.

Check out her work here.

And speaking of hand made products, has anyone ever been to Color Me Mine? I got invited to go with some friends.  Yes, I love anything related to art and as a kid, I used to make my own pottery.  If you have, let me know if it’s a good time or not.

Do It Yourself Home Energy

Are you a redneck with some land and a bit of extra cash? Does your land get either sun or wind? If so, you’ll love this website:
http://www.homepower.com/

It reviews everything from solar panels to wind generators. Me personally? My anti-zombie compound will have both. Imagine having a $0 energy bill because your house is that efficient. Yes, some months you’ll achieve that.

Like it or not, energy will be a problem in the future as this country gets more and more overpopulated and illegals come in and breed like rabbits, thus increasing the energy demands. Also keep in mind that China and India, the two most overpopulated countries in the world, are now economic powerhouses and everyone in their middle classes will want cars. The days of gasoline under $2/gallon may be over for good.

Don’t quote me on that though because my crystal ball is broken. Science may or may not keep up with demands. Predicting the future’s not a safe business to get into, but at this rate, it’s more than likely our energy problems will just get worse.

So if you have the means, do something about it. Me, I’ll be going back to biodiesel shortly (which that website also explains how to do) and I’ll have both solar and wind on my anti-zombie compound. Plus, as a Capitalist, I like things for free.

The Man You Love to Hate

Like it or not, Barry Bonds is now the greatest home run hitter ever in the history of baseball. He has the record. Some of you may want to put an asterisk by it, but remember these 2 things:
1) He’s never been caught. That may change. Someone may speak up. In this country, you’re innocent until proven guilty. Or, he might be innocent. I don’t know one way or another, and frankly, I don’t follow baseball enough to care.
2) Baseball is a cheating game. In hockey, you have fighting, like it or not. In baseball, you have cheating, like it or not.

As a San Francisco Bay Area resident on and off for thirty years, I have personal stories of Mark McGuire and Jose Canseco that would make you hate them. They both now admit to steroid use. Sammy Sosa got caught with a corked bat when an inside pitch snapped his bat in two. Pitchers do a million things to cheat, from spit balls to wiping their greasy hair then wiping the ball to sandpaper. Baseball players cheat all the time, and get away with it. It’s part of the game, like it or not.

I used to care. Today, I don’t. I stopped being a baseball fan with their last baseball strike. In football, some ungodly percentage of NFL players retire legally crippled. In baseball, you may have a bad shoulder or a torn hamstring when you retire. Go cry me a river.

So if you want to put an asterisk by Bonds’ 756, more power to you. Me? I put my Barry Bonds action figure high up in the office just to piss off Dodger fans. It’s so easy (and fun) to do.