The Zombieslayer

Three years ago, we were flat broke. Being used to a good lifestyle, the three of us learned to have fun with no money.

If you need to save money, but still want to have a good time, here are a few tips.

1) Buy a deck of cards. There are dozens of fun games you can do with cards, and each game can last a night. I’ve learned poker, bridge, pinochle, hearts, and spades. When I have nobody to play with, I’ll play free cell by myself. No, not on the computer, but with my deck of cards.

2) Walk everywhere. Walking costs nothing and can be lots of fun. Walking also gives you time to just chill, and eases up stress. It gives me time to think. Walking at a slow pace allows free conversation. I love walking and talking with my family or friends. You know how alcohol loosens up the tongue? Well, walking does too.

I hate jogging. Not only do I not have the knees for it, it’s kind of anti-social, because you can’t really have a good conversation and jog at the same time. Walking is the antithesis of jogging. It’s easy on the knees and you can have the best talks.

3) Learn to cook. Cooking saves a lot of money. We stopped eating out completely when we were broke. Instead, I cooked. We saved so much money that way. I also intentionally cook too much food so we all have leftovers the next day. Saves a lot of money. I often have enough leftovers to share with friends at work. They all think I’m generous. They don’t realize how little I spend because I buy in bulk.

4) Get a library card. My wife and I both read a lot. The library is free as long as you remember to turn the books in on time. For me, I read almost 700 words per minute, so I often read an entire book in a few hours. To tell you the truth, I don’t have a library card. I just read the book there. I also hit the newspapers and magazines at the library as well.

5) Find out where the rich people get rid of their clothes. You’d be surprised. People think I spend a lot on clothes, but I don’t. I get everything from friends or from Salvation Army. I personally own several shirts from Nordstrum worth well over $100 each. I just don’t tell anyone I bought them at Salvation Army for $4 each. They’re in spanking brand new condition too. It’s amazing what rich people get rid of.

6) Find some friends to hike with. Hiking is also free, and it’s fun. You get the benefits of walking and get to see the outdoors. You can birdwatch when you hike too. I used to think that’s an old lady thing to do, but I’ve found it’s quite fun. Junior and I picked up some cheap binoculars and now can identify a bunch of different birds here.

All these things are cheap, or even free. The thing is, you don’t have to spend much money to have fun in this country.

If you have other tips, feel free to share ‘em.

It’s now officially day 5 since doing local honey for my allergies.  I simply put about a teaspoon of it in my tea or coffee every morning and stir it up.

I don’t know what it was this year, but my allergies haven’t been this bad in two decades.  I’ve been coughing and sneezing and driving my co-workers nuts.  Before doing the honey, I used half a box of tissue in only one day.

So I went on anti-histimines.  They work, but the side effect is everything tastes like English food.  I could go on prescription drugs, but you’ve seen the commercials and their side effects.  I’ve done local honey before and it’s worked, so I’m back to it.

Now on day 5, I still have to use a tissue about once every few hours.  Within a few weeks, your body will be completely immune to the allergies if it works for you, as it has for me in the past.  I picked up a bottle of honey from Whole Foods and they have ones specifically marked by the county they’re from.  It was $9.99, but considering what drugs cost, that’s not too bad.

So is it a placebo? Well, placebos never work on me.  Unless of course they’re the sugar kind.  No, just joking.  The honey is working so far and considering the side effects of honey are you should really brush your teeth afterwards, compared to what they are for those drugs with the fancy names and stupid commercials about some dumb guy running in slow motion through the fields.  So if  you have allergies, give it a shot.  It sure beats possibly having headaches, constipation, diarrhea, insomnia, stuffy nose, upset stomach, vomiting, yeast infections, thresh, depression, mood swings, anxiety, and anal leakage.

What do you do if you have undead in  your basement? Well, I wrote this up years ago.  Click here.  There.  Now don’t tell me I don’t do anything for you.