The Zombieslayer

2009 sucked.   2010 was better, but that’s not saying much.  Let’s hope 2011 is actually a good year for everyone.  Wishing everyone health and employment.

I’ve been in and out of work for the past few years and learned a few pointers that I’d gladly share.  This is how I was able to find work (I haven’t been more than a month unemployed, even in the heart of the recession as these tips work).

First and foremost, you gotta treat your job search like a 9-5 job.  That means, get your ass out of bed at 8 AM, eat breakfast (do NOT skip breakfast), and start looking at 9 AM.  Spend the entire 9 AM until noon looking for work.  Do not fuck around.  Look for work.

I can’t speak for every profession as every profession is different.  For Software, I found dice.com, monster.com, and linkedin.com to be by far the most helpful.  Find out which websites are the most helpful by asking everyone you know, especially in your respective profession, what helped and what didn’t.

Take lunch at noon.  Take an hour off.  Don’t skip lunch.  Do not skip meals or else you’ll be thinking about food instead of thinking about finding work.  1 PM, back to work.  That means once again, no fucking around.  Look for work until 5 PM.

At 5 PM, you’re off.  You’re done for the day.

Do this 5 days a week.  Get as many interviews as you possibly can.  Be clean at your interview.  Don’t swear, don’t use too much slang, and don’t be an asshole.  Don’t complain about your former job.  That makes you sound like a whiner.

Find out every details you can about the company.  Show them that you’re interested.  Tell them what you can do for them.  It’s not about you.  It’s about how you’d be a good fit for their company.

Looking for work is hard work and it has to be treated as work.  You cannot slack off, especially nowadays that our economy sucks.

The other thing, you gotta smile.  You gotta be clean.  Don’t overdo perfume/cologne as when I interview someone, I don’t want to smell them, period.  That means I don’t want them to stink nor do I want to smell their perfume/cologne.  I know this sounds nitpicking but I know I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

Be cool.  This is important.  I don’t want to hire an asshole.  Know the difference between confidence and arrogance.

Also,  you gotta let everyone you know know that you’re looking.  You’d be surprised at how many people know somebody that may be hiring.  The more people know, the more chances you got.

These are a few tips.  Maybe later I’ll think of something more and add more.

It’s funny, I didn’t think I’d get so many responses from women when I asked them this question personally but with some, I couldn’t get them to shut up.  This is an entirely unscientific study; that’s my disclaimer.  I asked some friends and relatives.  Most were heterosexual females, one a lesbian who has had sex with men in the past and still finds some men aesthetically pleasing but just has relationships with women (thus she calls herself a lesbian).  A few were bi, but regardless, answers are answers.

Yes, a lot of the answers were what we’ve all heard before - intelligence, sense of humor, blah blah blah.  It was nice when someone actually gave me a unique response.  I had one say “strong enough to carry me home if I’m drunk.”

One actually gave me professions and after her, I asked if those professions are sexy and got mostly positive responses.  Here they are:

Blue collar - plumbers, electricians, and mechanics.  Plumbers because they consistently make a lot of money.  There is a sexiness to a man who strives under capitalism.  Electricians because of all the trades, they’re the smartest.  Mechanics, I’ve heard multiple compliments about them.  One, they can fix your car (which we joked is especially good when the zombie plague starts).  Another, like the plumber, recession or no recession, you still need your car fixed.  And the one I really liked best is there’s a sexiness to a guy who comes home covered in grease after a hard day’s work.

White collar - Professors, Doctors, and Dentists.  Professors I’ve actually heard before from several people.  Yes, intelligence is sexy.  Doctors are often Alpha Maleish.  I can see that.  Dentists, I was surprised but when asked why, they’re reliable.  Funny thing is I didn’t hear lawyers mentioned except once, and it was very negative - one mentioned she’d never even go on a date with a lawyer as she doesn’t trust them.

Funny thing is there were physical traits mentioned but they were more for flings than long-term relationships.  So of the women I asked, I might be able to generalize consistency, dependency, and reliability for long-term and physical traits for short term.  The physical traits ranged from strong hands, manly hands, tall and strong, broad shoulders, and strong facial features.  Not one women I asked though mentioned a physical trait for long-term relationships except for the one who said strong enough to carry her home when she’s drunk (she’s an alcoholic by the way).

Good stuff.  Like I said, entirely unscientific as the sampling was too small and not a representative of the general female population but definitely interesting enough for a blog post.

Brett Favre’s streak is officially over at 297 straight regular season games, with over 320 including post season games.  He’s set to retire at the end of the year.

Judas Priest, my favorite band, is calling it quits next year.  Ronnie James Dio, my third favorite singer, died this year.  (Freddie Mercury, my 2nd favorite singer, died almost 20 years ago).

It’s one of those things about getting older.  People you really admired call it quits or die.  I know I’ve been writing nothing but politics lately and that’s why I intentionally didn’t include any political/social heroes, just pop culture heroes.

Both Favre’s and Judas Priest’s eminent retirements have already hit me.  Brett Favre is older than I am and I wanted him to play forever.  It never bothered me that he went to the Jets and later the Vikings.  I wanted an NFL QB older than me playing.  It makes me feel younger.

I haven’t accepted this aging thing very well.  I don’t like to know that I’m getting older and will eventually die of old age (if I don’t get killed in a car accident).  I know some of you who read this blog are older and you’re thinking something along the lines of “suck it up” but that’s always been a thing with me - not accepting time will eventually kill us all and no matter how much you want to hide from time, time always wins.

A scary thought.

Take almost 7 minutes to watch this.  You’ll see how Obama is no different from Bush when it comes to economic policies, and who is really running the show.  It’s quite disturbing.

I hate to say “I told you so” because I didn’t want to be right.

61% of Americans oppose naked body scanners.  48% will choose alternative methods of travel to avoid them.  If you think this doesn’t hurt your wallet, you got your head up your ass.  Americans have had enough of the TSA.  Bad for freedom.  Bad for privacy.  Bad for business.

Poll source -  http://www.zogby.com/news/ReadNews.cfm?ID=1925